My Life...

BlackPatchedFacedNeighbour

2009-01-28T17:52:00.000+08:00

Sorry if i sound very 'lian' here. I think my neighbour needs a dildo for xmas very badly. Oh oops, I don't think so. Because I think she's already fucked up. Haha!

Can you believe it? Everytime I open or close the door, she would open her door step out of the house and SEE ME! Ok that's not the main point. HOW DARE SHE POKE HER NOSE INTO OUR FAMILY AFFAIRS. Keep ngiaming at my mom when she's outside. Never step on a doggy's tail even if it looks like it's already tamed. She has indeed really nothing better to do I suppose. And shouldn't be people in poor financial position, be thinking how to get richer?

2008-11-21T19:05:00.005+08:00

If given a choice, I wouldn't want to be me. Hearing those heart-stabbing words from the mouth of a parent, I just feel like I'm a bastard. (No. If you're wondering if I'm a illegitimate child, I don't think I am.)

But my mind wanders. I can't help to think that way.

Just because I said something like, "wahh you're fully utilising me to the fullest" <-- Ok, be it that I'm 100% free or busy (like preparations for my exams), I get ticked off with, "If I have known this, I would have killed you before you're born." ( And halo?? Don't ever think I'm born with a silver spoon like everyone of you. No. I don't get allowance since 19 which is normal la haha. I work since I'm 16 k. AND I PAY FOR MY SCH FEES! Because I don't like oweing more obligations to people.) My blood is a 'B+'. Obviously, it's different from all my family members. They are 'A+' (parents) and 'O' (my brothers.). This always adds on to my suspicion if I really belong to this place. (Ok, stop thinking that I'm not a illegitimate child. >.<><" K.. Am I suffering from depression now? Sometimes my mind just turned so weak that I broken down and cried. I need a break man..

Should I follow the Taiwan President, Chen Sui Bian? -__- This seriously kills my appetite now..

2008-11-04T11:30:00.007+08:00

Today is going to be the day for my mock exam for corporate and business law. Sien ok.. Why moms cannot be understanding.. I don't understand why. Is it that old people are like these? I often hear old women talking on the train about negative things about others, like politics etc. Would they love it when people talks about them too? Just a general remark on old women.. What is it that makes them this way?

Every lil thing seems like a problem to them. But why. For those people who doesn't even bother about studying, because your school fees is paid by your parents, do you know how hard it is for me to study? I can't possibly go library, but fucking AMK doesn't allow that lol. And if i were to go downstairs, there are old women again ok.. gossipers.. and even lunatics and gangsters.. and at night you would probably hear them fighting.. And if i were to go to school and just for studying (which im kinda not comfortable with, like some people just looks at you as if you're some alien, yea i get that when on train.. especially OLD WOMEN again haha.) Yea.. for your info, my school have many myanmanese, quite eccentric people at times, but friendly for some. But I just finds it kinda uncomfortable when they keeps staring at your notes.. like every time you try to write something. (not that its something that missed from copy from the lecture's screen. its my own notes!)

Being niamed again today. Totally kills my mood for study. Not that I'm whining about it, but it just doesn't go to my brain anymore! Like there's a huge heavy lock there, that's forbidding any entrance or gists of informations. $@^%$^@^@$^

My mood is already not that good these days, altho I don't really show it.. I know I have been going out but its all because of these reasons. I had have enough. Missing my favourite tv programmes.. (even if it's the last episode)... I need some fun too.. Ok I should try to squeeze some bits of company law in my brain now. Tata!

This will be my ranting ground

2008-09-06T17:51:00.015+08:00

This shall be my ranting ground. So dont mind me. ( I hope no one will still link to this blog though.)

Sometimes I feel so angry that I could feel my blood vessels like really going to burst.

Like right now.. I seriously need some peace. Why is that dude playing the songs loudly from morning till now? And it's getting really fucked up. All the songs of Corrine May, WTF? And all those songs that really make you going to into a deadly sleep.

Ok, not to mention that he slams the door or whatever things when he got home. Whatever, I don't care. Mom told us not to touch certain food (that only he gets entitled to eating), ok I don't take that really to heart because I'm kinda used to it. And today I feel really fucked up. Why? It's because I just want some peace to myself. I tried studying. Yes. This sounds weird, but really I'm trying.

He keeps walking past the desk I was studying. Thats really irritating. Like, more than 10 times, but he actually had no purpose in walking to the kitchen? -_-"

Then I played PSP, and then I left it in "paused" mode when I needed the loo. Ya, he looked at it. I think he walked around the desk is just to look at my things -_-, probly wondering what school I'm studying in or modules?

Morning-

her: you dont touch the other things ok, didnt bring enough money earlier, so bought you yam cake.
(Dude, dont ever assume that people who bring not enough money is poor ok. Did you not bring enough money before? If you are assuming that, I tell you, I'm richer than you for sure. How's that?)

me: ok.

---
I had stomachache. I don't really mind to eat that even if i didnt have the stomachache. Serious.

But when she told me,
--

her: You eat this for now, later I buy something you prefer to eat. Want fishball noodle?
(No, because she alrdy bought it in the morning.)

me: No not that, I want wanton mee. (everyone knows thats my fave ok.)

--

She came back, with lots of stuff, helped her to clean and pack the eggs to the proper place.

Ok.. While I'm checkng my 'monetary stuff' (a secret.)

She asked me to go and eat lunch. Ok, then I saw that unwashed bowl with the wanton's veggie remaning and chilli on the table. Im really speechless ok.

Every single day, he leaves his bowls and plates on the table. But no one says anything.

He ate my only pack of wanton mee (not the first time alrdy- MANY TIMES ok), and I have to bear with the spicy londong despite my upset tummy.

-- Earlier She told me to get her something, and I said, "headache".

Because she heard it too often. She always presumed that I'm lying. Giving it as an excuse to skip the chores. WTH? And I get scolding, instead of getting concerned about. Ok, if I'm ever going to die soon, I won't tell anyone.

Headache could be due to the stress.. and specially that noise (songs) that has being playing for hours, like since.. 12pm+ to 6pm (which is now and yes, the songs are still playing.)
--

Whenever she buys lunch or dinner.. She would say things like, "let him choose first before you eat."

Or Im terribly starved......... She says, "I think he won't want to eat that, so you eat."

Oh so it's always giving in to him. But why?

---

A dysfunctional family like this, parents play a role too. If you hadn't been treating him the 'special' way, why would he become so arrogant until this day?

And we're being treated like this.

Sometimes when I'm upset with something that concerns her, I really would wonder if I really belong to the family.

Because my blood is a B+. My parents are A. My brothers are O.

So... I would often have wild imaginations, and end up feeling depressed on my own.

:D But oh well, I'm really feeling better after writing this entry.

Have a good weekend =) - to my readers.

2008-02-15T00:33:00.002+08:00

For some reasons we would think back what has happened in the past. It was about a gathering that a group of people said that it's for gathering and when I said I wasnt attending it, they changed it to "my birthday celebration" sort of thing. "We will be paying for your share." And it striked me how much was that.. $1 each?

A friend whom I had talked to about it, told me she actually went to ask around why is it like that, like no sincerity, and how's the present, is it ready? The answers were like, "It's supposed to be a surprise!!" (Ahuh? Like how long ago was the birthday) And, "We are buying the present."

In the end, I didnt go. Couple of weeks later when we had another gathering, I did go, and nothing.

----

And how about err someone telling you that your birthday is coming (for about one week).

1st day of that one week:
"Hey your birthday is coming!"

2nd day of that week:
"Hey your birthday is coming!"

3rd day of that week:
"Hey your birthday is coming!"

4th day of that week:
"Hey your birthday is coming!"

5th day of that week:
"Hey your birthday is coming!"

6th day of that week:
"Hey your birthday is coming!"

7th day of that week:
"Hey your birthday is coming!"

Actual day:
You meet the same group of people. And nothing happens.
---

Ha! Is that funny? Its a real life based story.

2008-01-14T22:16:00.001+08:00

I see evil next to me. Selfishness and all I could see. Sometimes it was hurting to talk. Having someone to say, "you make me feel like slapping you." Sometimes it made me not wanting to talk at all.

I feel neglected whenever I go to XXXXXXX. I feel neglected at home, but lesser. Since Im not that really matter to anyone. I guess it doesnt matter what I do, or do nothing. Some people could just be like, sucked into the com when they are msning just like what my father told, me when I was gaming. But it wasnt that bad for me. I still talk to people when they talk to me, at least. I dont tell people I want to slap them. Especially to someone that your not really close to.

Sometimes you tell me bad things about people. But why doesnt people think of what they've done. Their own actions might be even more ugly than what the person they have been talking about all the time. I think I dont just feel neglected, but also disgusted at what humans are doing. Its annoying. And that slapping comment, I should be the one to say that.
Boo.. *thumbs down*

On Xmas!

2007-12-26T14:47:00.000+08:00

"Green tea" jio me out on xmas near my house.

And we had our dinner..

Jasmine, green tea

Who else?

The gift she prepared

The lovely present I've prepared

Pluck those candies down for me!

Farewell Dinner for me at Marche @ Vivo

2007-12-26T14:41:00.000+08:00

I cut I cut I cut cut cut......

Muahaha.. yum yum

The Xmas Tree outside..

2007-12-25T14:57:00.000+08:00

ITS CHRISTMAS!!!

I'm glad that the presents that I have given out for xmas' gifts exchange, up to now, they all like it. ^^

Never had a expenditure for xmas this huge before. Wahhh seems like many people wanted to exchange.. and I think I have bought like 5 or 6 presents (excluding those adhoc gifts).

On the presents alone its costing me like erm.. $100+++

And also having dinner together...... I spent like at least $50 each day. Ok not for dinner only la.. also other activities.....

!!!

The presents I have gotten up to now.. I think the eye shadow is the best one. Since Im a lil curious on making up.

The present that I dont really like the most is the fragile one de le. Never like fragile presents. So please note! Dont give me fragile stuff pleaseee!!

I was like feeling the shape of the present, and holding it, and wanted to shake a bit, then I was being asked not to.. "Hey, be careful, or it will break!"

=0! So I was praying that I wont get that as my present.

However, my prayers was not being answered.

Drew lots, and got that as present. Cups w/ plates. Not again! I have so many of them at home...

Maybe next time when I grow up, I can use them for starting up a business.

Despite that, I think its still a better present compared to the other one. The best present, unwrapped was alrdy chosen by someone.

Wrapped nicely, but inside was.......

*************

**********

*******

*****

**

*

TADA!!

A cheap present that didnt meet our budget. =\ Im so bad. But thats how im hurt when i asked them clearly for the budget, so as not to buy a cheap present to embarrass myself. When I ask repeatedly for the budget, and I confirmed again with the "organiser" (either him or her la) for the 3rd time, "Sorry, I didnt say properly." So what does that mean. And *she* said she would get a present of same value of the budget. HA! And got a what.. Less than half of the budget, present. Cheap Cheap Cheap!! And *him/her* were the one who suggested the xmas present exchange one lor. I was like , "huh.." inside when they told me that the last minute. That means more money have to be spent, and time and effort to look for the gift. Isnt it upset. The ones who suggested.. but still buy such a cheap gift. Buy such a cheap gift..still want to have expensive meal. =\ Im starting to look down on "some people". For their actions and stuff.

And my brother who didnt give people any present, but his gf a xmas card, he got himself a.... BRAUN BOFFEL WALLET!

Sigh........ Why mine...isnt....

HA joking only la. I like all the presents =) except that one.

2007-12-23T12:23:00.000+08:00

Tears is flowing like a fast stream river right now. I really can't understand why it is too myself.

Early in the morning, ok, I guess I slept late (@ around 3am), I got woken up as usual by her. I opened my eyes. There in her hand, she was holding a wooden stick. You should have known what it's for.

Unsurprisingly, anyone would be wondering why she needs to do that. I want to know too.

She is not happy that I'm going out so often (well, only 2 days, maybe I went home later than usual) "Huh? On holiday, then keep going out huh. Everyday go out!"

And there she goes nagging about throwing my things. <-- Wants me to throw my things instead of going out. "You keep going out, then no need to pack all this things is it?!"

I have already thrown away my stuff (even those unused stuff). That was like a month ago or something. I guess everything is not important to me, besides my laptop and my keyboard. So I placed them all in a corner, the place for rubbish waiting to be thrown away.

So I felt upset.. and was starting to shed, while wondering why must she do this. It seems that she's not happy with whatever I'm doing. Its not that I didnt give her allowance every month. Ok maybe $200 is quite lil to her, but im not the only one working. My 1st brother also is giving her $200 every month, and my father is also working, and he's too giving her money. I couldnt give more, I know she would understand because I'm saving it for my studies. Not gonna take money from my parents anymore.

And she said, "Faster go and marry lor. Find a place, and dont live here."

-_- Im like "what the hell" inside.

Then my 2nd bro was kinda annoyed what she's saying, then he ask her to shut up. But she kept scolding me nevertheless.

Then I started messaging jasmine to tell her i might not be going out with her. And she's not happy again. She started scolding on the "smsing"."Huh, everytime I scold you must go and message people. Dont feel paiseh is it. Later people look down on you. Dont think I dont know what you are messaging."

I really hate this part of being too nosey in people's business. I mean, I have never taken a handphone out of her money before, and she hadnt pay my bills in the past or now. If she were to do that, I might still think its a little reasonable . It should always be my own business as it always is. How can she always eavedrop me when I'm on phone, not that she's paying my bills, and afraid that I'm talking too much and she had to pay more. And the same goes for the sms.

My brother is terribly annoyed, and said, "Aiya, why you always like that one, she's messaging people she's not going out la." Didnt want to go out, coz ok.. since going out makes my mom unhappy, and also maybe jasmine is doing her hair.. and the others is SO UNDECIDED and didnt confirm on the time of the meeting. Talked to one of them, and she was like, "Not sincere one, like dont want to go out like that." So I said, "Coz we are the decorations." xD I think she didnt get the meaning out of it. Coz its meant to be a secret I have kept for someone -_-" A bad secret that would hurt his gf probly. She wanted to bring her parents out for a walk, but isnt sure if the 2 of them would settle on the time and place. So it makes it very difficult for us to do our own stuff. So, she was asking if we should cancel it, and I suggested her to send a msg to ask us if we are ok with the time and venue, if there's no reply, then that's it. Actually what I meant by decorations earlier was, -.- the 2 person is actually dating each other in secret. Which I think is a bad thing coz one has a gf. Surprisingly, I know his friend who knows was a very good friend in the past, and still contacting. So maybe thats why he told me the secret. -.-" Bu ne shuo de mi mi.

Ok maybe I should start wrapping the other presents to cheer myself up. Wrapping is the most exciting part of a present =)

2007-12-09T00:17:00.000+08:00

I hated to talk this morning after talking to people, got really pissed off and I cried.

And I had this on my mind that Im going to stop talking to all humans on earth, and become like a mute. So, there, you could see how much I was pissed. I felt that no one understands me. No one would even bother to. Even when they heard me, they would be shooting me in emails, and telling me to open myself, know more people. Har? And there, the more I felt that there's always communication gap between me and humans =.=

I dont feel like saying much. Talking too much to people would only makes me dislike them more. If you're from my class, I think you'd suck. =P

----

M.A.H. -- All hail the micro silver bullet ^^ -- says:
yeh she just doesnt get it
M.A.H. -- All hail the micro silver bullet ^^ -- says:
like to normal people shes probably very nice
M.A.H. -- All hail the micro silver bullet ^^ -- says:
only not to you
M.A.H. -- All hail the micro silver bullet ^^ -- says:
cause you come from a deformed family lol
Bah. says:
o.O deformed family
Bah. says:
what has it got to do with deformed family
o.O and you think i have a deformed family?
M.A.H. -- All hail the micro silver bullet ^^ -- says:
yeh
M.A.H. -- All hail the micro silver bullet ^^ -- says:
you do
M.A.H. -- All hail the micro silver bullet ^^ -- says:
lol
M.A.H. -- All hail the micro silver bullet ^^ -- says:
everything
M.A.H. -- All hail the micro silver bullet ^^ -- says:
your entire emotional balance is not normal
M.A.H. -- All hail the micro silver bullet ^^ -- says:
giving a lot of friction when you handle with ppl
Bah. says:
why deformed family
M.A.H. -- All hail the micro silver bullet ^^ -- says:
you dont talk to your bro
M.A.H. -- All hail the micro silver bullet ^^ -- says:
youve got an evil one there
Bah. says:
you still remember
M.A.H. -- All hail the micro silver bullet ^^ -- says:
whos basically terorising ppl
M.A.H. -- All hail the micro silver bullet ^^ -- says:
I remember everything lol
M.A.H. -- All hail the micro silver bullet ^^ -- says:
you dont have your own bedroom
M.A.H. -- All hail the micro silver bullet ^^ -- says:
you dont get respected
M.A.H. -- All hail the micro silver bullet ^^ -- says:
your mom is... not sure but also not stable lol
Bah. says:
erm sometimes..
M.A.H. -- All hail the micro silver bullet ^^ -- says:
your dad seems relatively normal
M.A.H. -- All hail the micro silver bullet ^^ -- says:
for as far as I know
M.A.H. -- All hail the micro silver bullet ^^ -- says:
thats what I call deformed
M.A.H. -- All hail the micro silver bullet ^^ -- says:
lol
Bah. says:
oh so thats really deformed family?
M.A.H. -- All hail the micro silver bullet ^^ -- says:
yeh
M.A.H. -- All hail the micro silver bullet ^^ -- says:
lol
M.A.H. -- All hail the micro silver bullet ^^ -- says:
it is
M.A.H. -- All hail the micro silver bullet ^^ -- says:
I dnt have anything like it here
M.A.H. -- All hail the micro silver bullet ^^ -- says:
dont *
M.A.H. -- All hail the micro silver bullet ^^ -- says:
like from any1 I know of
M.A.H. -- All hail the micro silver bullet ^^ -- says:
my dads side is likely the weirdest
M.A.H. -- All hail the micro silver bullet ^^ -- says:
cause my grandpa had 2 wives
M.A.H. -- All hail the micro silver bullet ^^ -- says:
that gives friction
M.A.H. -- All hail the micro silver bullet ^^ -- says:
but apart from that lol
M.A.H. -- All hail the micro silver bullet ^^ -- says:
your family has the most emotional disturbed people Ive ever seen xD
M.A.H. -- All hail the micro silver bullet ^^ -- says:
almost like soap...

---

I feel so evil, feel like telling people to go eat shit and DIE!! XD

2007-11-03T22:06:00.000+08:00

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2007-10-27T18:53:00.000+08:00

I did a steam boat personalitty test. It exactly speaks my character.

TYPE B
You are a more active person, drawing a clear line between happiness andunhappiness. You are more quick-tempered. If you encounter things youlike, you will do it without second thought. But once you encounter thingsthat you hate, you will wish to get out of it as soon as possible. As youare a person of your own views, the friends you tend to have will be ofthe same pattern. But once good friends, you will understand them a lotand go all the way to help then. Friends are very dependent on you. As youare too emotional, you may make a storm out of a teacup with your friends.You must learn to do things in order and not give up easily. You can trymaking friends with those you don't think you can get along with, don'tstick with the same category. This will make you more popular andcharming.

People i dont like i condemn one, then dont go out with them. Everything they do, will be a mistake to me. So if i didnt go out with anyone suddenly, means something is wrong.

2007-10-24T00:08:00.000+08:00

I've bought a Balenciaga bag (real branded one ok, real leather) for my mom, since she was quite worried of not getting a nice bag to attend wedding dinner or something. The bag is worth $209 XD. And the interesting part is when i wanted to pay for my mom, and my mom wanted to pay, but i keep asking her to keep the money, then the sales lady asked my mom and said, "Your daughter cant be working right now right? She is student, am I right?" Then my mom said, "Ya" LOL?!? Then the sales lady said, "Yaaa coz, really looks like student to me, too young to be working." LOL? Why my mom want to lie XD, thought im not really studying at the moment.

I dont think anyone I have met in my life, would ever buy me things like this if i want. Or at least, something. These days i dont know why, i seem to hiam alot. Also feel that life is quite unfair at some points of my life. One day i must chong myself, and maybe when my keyboard gets older, till cant play liao (Still long way to spoil la), then i will buy a super nice one like the real piano. XDXD Mine sounds like piano , but no sustained sounds, the volume always remains the same only when you adjust the volume.

And I love to bear grudges for some of you who dont know me well. Some things i can remember for a very long time one, unless you are my really close friend, i will still remember but will just let the matter rest. When i see people getting different treatment from friends, i also get very "hot" one. I dont say it out, so no one will know, and no need la, unless you just happened to see my blog. Friends like these, will only get condemned, and getting more hated, each time i get "hotter". <-- sounds stupid and crappy right, but thats what i feel sometimes. Dont like friend making use of you, and dont like people who meet up for only some purpose (but jogging can la of coz! the park belongs to no one man, and exercising is good for health :D), because they need your help/something from you. Dont think im tiam tiam, means nice to step on my tail hor. Within me, there's a dark side. So, better think twice, if ask me for anything, unless you are my close friend. Reflect if you have missed out anything. What you have done wrong. And what treatment is different. Talked to some people about these, and they also agreed that these type of friends, have or dont have, also the same. Since im being so non existent, and always get missed out, or even on special days(hint : once in a year; hint: this is not something that you can do it like million of times. This is the most important day of a student). So it doesnt matter if they like me or not. Just like if you are not close to them, colleagues will just be colleagues, schoolmates will only be just schoolmates to you. Not even friends. Maybe treatment is different, because they'd thought that the person is poor (as in wealth).

those sucky days..

2007-09-23T20:06:00.000+08:00

Been feeling kinda stressed up lately. Thinking about whether to study part-time or full time.. If this stress were to persist.. then i would need to quit. Or, if there is a change in my portfolio, then i can just carry on.

Why the stress? Its due to the workload, and the different procedures that i have to cope everyday. During normal working hours, i cant really get to finish all my entire work, and i have to stay overtime to clear it. Different people have different portfolios. Some are easy, some are harder, while some are really difficult to deal with.

And, suppliers will keep calling for payments, etc. And there are many times that you're not actually the person they are looking for.. but they would go saying, "I have been transferred here and there, and i m not going to care anymore" Then you would go soft and said, "oh.... im sorry about that, i would look into this, and get back to you as soon as possible" (even if its not without your job)

People always ask, "Please clear your tray" But is that possible? I think i would have to camp there the whole day to clear everything. Being busy the whole day, you would prioritise, what to do first, whats urgent and you would clear them first. Im not a robot or anything, just a human, so sometimes i feel that people are really not thoughtful enough, and i would just hate them. The worst part of it all, there's a deadline for most of the things, the management/gst/cashflow/budget/carpark reports.. the payment vouchers.. the payment list.. list of reimbursements.. and journals as and when needed etc..

Sometimes i would get very pissed, when im so busy, and the fucking phone just keep ringing and ringing.. And people coming to you, asking you this and that..

If its really important or something, or really urgent, i dont think i would mind that much (maybe) BUT, like when you're so busy, then people are like asking you for those not urgent and unimportant things, and then IMAGINE, they got the wrong stuff from you, and come back to you and said, "OOOPS, Sorry, i told you the wrong one, actually i need this one...." And you have to spend time digging it up again.

And if people are being scolded or something, of coz you have the logic that its not a really good time to ask that particular person something at that point of time. You would like wait for a little while more, so i cant stand it when i see some people who just cant understand this, and just ask something even though half the office could hear the boss shouting.

And then people take leave or whatever, you need to cover for them (even though you cannot cope with your current workload).

Then you would start thinking, is it that necessary for the person ? And the person hasnt finish this or that.. Why would that person want to do that? And isnt it fishy that the person was perfectly fine, and then dont come to work out of the sudden?

And even during the probabtion people do things that are unrelated to work? Talk most of the time.. and go out for non work related stuff?

I would think thats ridiculous and really not a very nice thing to do.

2007-07-29T23:14:00.000+08:00

My birthday gifts from my sweet colleagues <3>

Jasmine was saying that she didnt have any activity on saturday so i asked if she wanted to go and have chocolate fondue with me. And on saturday we did.

Luckily both of us were on msn, before we met up, then all along i thought she knew where to have the fondue. But she told me that she didnt know how to go, so i randomly searched the website, and got into one forum, and they said the fondue at swiss culture is not bad, so we had our dinner there.

We had a hard time finding the place, and it took us very long to realise that we were actually looking for the swiss culture in the wrong place. Man, we were so blur LOL.

Then, finally we found the place. YAY!

Then we ordered...

...this

...and this!

(sorry ar, i spoilt the image of the pasta by digging in first)

After we're done, we didnt manage to catch the fireworks, so we went around to do window shopping..

And we were actually stucked at the "zhuan zhuan zhuan" machine for 30mins LOL!

And we went around shops.. asking for 1 dollar change. Coz each machine requires $1 x3

Then jasmine bought the piggy keychain with the bell. Every piggy is distinct because of their bell. It has a range of tones, do-re-mi-fa-so-la-ti-do! So jasmine was planning to collect the whole range!

Then it was my turn... I was so indecisive!

And because jasmine actually inserted her coins into one of the machines.. and her money was cheated by that particular machine.. so i chose the machine that gives you a doggy. (Because i saw a lil girl playing with that one. So i was pretty sure that machine wont be faulty.)

Then i got this!

Looks cute in the thing hor. But ugly when i take it out.

Then i regretted!!! I should have got this cute cute one!

Everything inside that machine is cute one lor. When you pull it, will shake de =(

2007-07-19T13:20:00.000+08:00

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME!!!

2007-07-13T22:34:00.000+08:00

Hey Hey!! Evileen is back again for another entry. I went to watch harry potter and the order of phoenix on wednesday (yea, it was before the official release date i guess), it was not as exciting as compared to the previous ones. Like, I dont even know it has ended like this! Like no head no tails har. How come harry just kiss the girl like that? Like, they never talk about sweet stuff.. then build up the atmosphere.. then maybe admit that the have liked each other for a long time (though i think its short) Wah!! After the special training class, everyone left, they talked about something, then they kissed.

Just now had dinner with brother and aunt's husband. At first, dont know how to meet my brother =.= Ask me to go pacific plaza, then ask me to go shaw centre =.= Then I ended up in International Building LOL. He keep saying im stupid Zzz.. =0 And.. we had dinner at Al Dente! Like, im so suan gu har, "Have you tried italian food?", "Yea.. Pastamania..", "Nono... its a different thing." Wah this one cost at least $100 for our meal <-- my brother said. (This kinda reminded me of -.- friends who ask, to go for dinner, "Hey, wanna go dinner?" "Yea sure" "Then we play a bit of game" "I can stay for the dinner but not the game i guess.(Thinking that i will get locked out)" Then two friends, tell you, "Bye." WTF(ish)??? Was kinda upset and angry lol, over such a small thing. But i feel as if im getting tricked or played a prank on--> Like, they had no intention to ask me to go. Bah, I can go anywhere else.

2007-06-29T21:38:00.000+08:00

I'm back again! Haha. For those who know that i left my prev. job, i m currently working in a new one, which is kinda fun, but quite alot to do. And, my old laptop spoilt, and it would cost $400 at least to change the mother board exclusive of labor costs... So i thought that would be a waste to repair it, so i bought a new compaq laptop on last sunday. Spent so much money! Bought a blazer.. a cooler pad.. external disc casing.. and laptop.. that was like so much to spend in one day.

I've watched the movie, transformers yesterday with my friend and his church friends, =0 she booked the whole theatre LOL. And the ticket was pretty cheap, and it was a good movie. The robots kinda made me upset, especially that bumble bee, so cute and funny all the time, but when it was being captured by the sector 7, =( they tortured him and it was a painful moment.

2007-06-01T20:54:00.000+08:00

No matter how hard i tried, nothing seems to go the right way.

Bosses that think that i never do enough, but i do hella alot.

Parents who think that im being too fussy about my job, and would never lend you a single ear for your problems or woes, or whatever.

--

Today on my way home, i thought about buying some food back home like snacks, and i know they would like it =)

And while eating, mom asked, "So you love to waste money when you started working huh?"

And she told me, "dont let your brother eat this, he gets stressed and would have pimples."

Then i was like, "So, im not stressed you mean? And everyone is the same, ok, let him eat, this is for him."

Then she agreed to let him eat ><"

Then later on, she asked how much pay i've got. Like, HUH?! You asked me a millions times that time, and you're asking it now again. I just have the feeling that she's more concerned about the money than of me.

"So, what are you planning to do with the money?"

I knew that she knows the answer, im definitely using it for my studies, thats like, DUH?

So, i refused to answer her. And she went on asking, "So, what are you going to do with the money? "

Then i told her for studies. Then she told me, "So, are you going to adopt a habit of spending it like this, and not giving money?"

I was like huh?! The other day she was like telling me, "You're still studying, dont have to give me money, i can understand that."

And then, i was like telling her, maybe i wont stay for the current job. Maybe i need a new one.

Then she got soooo worked up, and she said, "@#^@$&^#%^#$@%@$, Whatever job doesnt suits you. Every company has that problem for you. You're stressed everywhere in whatever things you do."

Really hate this type of accusation. Not that i myself know that im being in this situation. Everyone in my office was like, "Poor you." Like, i dont tell them a single thing but they know sooo much.

And last time when i got sick, she would say im feighing and stuff, and when i finally got too sick, then she would realise its not feighing -_-"

That really pissed me off, till i shedded a few tears earlier on, that was cool feeling! XD

I cant really tell anyone what has happened to me. Nothing to be proud of. All i can is to bottom it up :(

2007-05-26T15:47:00.000+08:00

Nothing ever seems right recently. And crying seems to be becoming part of my pastime. Now i dont care so much about my workload already, I will just leave at 5.30pm (the knock off time). I wont stay till night time, i will head home and rest and go online.

Seriously, didnt want to turn this into a negative blog but, my life kinda sucks at this stage.

Like when you're feeling all so lost, and stressed, and ok for me, sometimes i dont know where im heading coz im super blur >< --> Once, i even almost walked into a guy's toilet until my colleagues asked, "You want to come in?"

My mom keep asking me to go and start furthering my studies. But she never consider the possible outcomes and the requirements for studying. Just like how my parents never consider family planning -.- (sometimes i think if i had never exist on this world before, they might be better well off, coz one less child to support)

They didnt consider about the money that i would need for studying. Like i havent even get my first pay yet! And i always tell her im so stressed at work. She thinks that im exaggerating it >< and she told me that, "everything that you do, makes you stressed ha."

If you just got started on a job, and you are so new to everything, theres so much to learn. And, definitely you would feel very stressed, and your mom still wants you to study right after you knocked off from work. I really get the thought of, "hey do you really want me to die that badly?"

The good part about working is, erm (havent come yet though), is getting salary, get better meals when you get home. You get to talk to people, (although sometimes you dont want it, but still you have to), like customers.. your bosses.. your colleagues etc.

AND the bad parts are so many!

1. You're working all the time, you're wondering why people can keep walking to pantry and always get a cup of water every one hour, and why people are looking at those things when you peeped at their screen.

2. You do so much till you really really wonder what are those other people in the office doing. Like, hey this isnt my work actually, its their work!

3. Sometimes when you wanna pee so urgently, but your work keeps stopping you, coz they're urgent too. If late by one minute, you will cause the company to get fined in thousands.

4. You cant really go out with other people that are not from your office, eg. your friends.

5. You cant do your own things when you're working, except using the toilet or drinking water.

6. You must sound firm and happy to customers even though you're sleepy or having bad mood.

7. You get locked outside the house when you go out with friends for a dinner.

8. You get online when you're back home from work, and you get irritating people like your cousin asking, "playing conquer?"

9. Your mom thinks you never do enough. She would make you do something whenever you're at home.

10. Your father thinks you're doing nothing when you returned back home from work, scolds you, and gets you to do chores (to help the mother out ).

11. You cant do much things when you start working. Your parents are restricting you from almost everything except for eating peeing shitting sleeping and drinking. And when you told them you're not getting any freedom, they would simply ask you to move out and they will wash the hands of you. --> But this could lead to severing ties.

Erm, thats just some parts of the bad points, and there are still many many many more!

2007-05-21T20:16:00.001+08:00

I'm feeling numb.

2007-05-19T13:28:00.000+08:00

It has a been a long time! Haha since i have last blogged.

Man, i love weekends. 5/7 of my life is like working, while the 2/7 is weekends!!

At least for the old office, i have worked till like 10pm+ almost everyday (though also sometimes i also dont know what im doing), but yea, some things still need to be done first, like preparing some *shouldnt name the name of that thing, incase my colleague happen to find my blog =0*, so yea, preparing *something* for the next day, so the next day wont have to hurry until like hell. Sometimes, certain things are so urgent, and yet you have to spend alot of time analysing it first, before making some "big decisions" when your boss is not around. Like you have to seek your manager's approval for some urgent stuff, but none of them are in, so you have to take a "risk", and make sure that what you have decided is right. (Ok, this only happened one time, luckily the manager approved xD)

Ok ignore that part, also dont know what im saying.

I was posed a question, "Do you feel happy working here?"

LOL, and my answer was, "Yea.. For one hour, which is the lunch break." xD

But maybe heaven has arranged it in such a way that i met these people to set goals for myself. I will pick myself up and maybe surpass this type of people one day. Haha, bitch (my meanie boss), just wait and see. *Evil laughter*

And some people are just so nice, they went out at 12pm for lunch, but i went out (alone) at 12.30pm to find them, (supposed to have lunch together with those closer colleagues all the time), and when i got there, i thought they have finished their food! =0 Like the table is so empty, they were like only sipping their pineapple juice or barley drink. Then the blur me, was thinking of buying food, and they say ,"yea yea we have finished ours" Then later when i wanted to go and get a drink first, they told me, "EH wait, dont buy food ok, we have already ordered yours" =0 And the meal costed them $60! And they wanted to treat me o.O (also weird leh, why only me), so a colleague went to order snacks, wanted to buy for them, then i paid for it. (the meanie boss is not included in this group of nice people) That meanie boss ate my snack hor *cough cough* Never ask her to eat it! But nvm ba, X_x just a piece of snack.

--

I think im getting into a state of depression. My mom keep picking on me today as well. She isnt happy to see me using the laptop (like for only today and tomorrow i can use it? or some rare and random lucky days that i can get home earlier) She is trying her best to make me do chores for her. Like some things, really make you wonder, "cant these things be done at the time when im working?!" And you would start thinking if she accumulated it to make you work more. And Im crying right now. Like you feel that there's a stone or something stucked in your chest, and you feel like letting it out.

--

Im very sure its not just me. But the people dislike that meanie boss as well. Even for those who are not under her. Especially from the other department, for those older ones. They will use sarcastic sentences.

I wanted to pass something to a salesperson, and i didnt know where he's seated, coz there were like many offices, i dont want to go around and around. So i happened to walk past a colleague, then i asked, "do you know where this **** is seated?" Then she told me. And the other colleague (which is from her departement) asked me, "Your supervisor never intro to you?" Actually she didnt =), but i didnt answer that question anyway.

Then after i have passed that document and walked back to my office, the meanie boss came to me and asked, "Why did you ask them? Cant you ask our own people? Now you know you get shoot by the people so how do you feel?" Then she gave a cunning smile. ( i was thinking like, wth? When i asked you, you said you dont know, or you will say, "Now i give you a challenging task, find out yourself." -_-, or just ask me to check yellow pages when i needed customers' contact. WHAT THE FUCK?!) And the older people from other department, they always come to me, and they think they needed to teach me something de. Not like my own department, i have to walk to them , and ask, and sometimes they are not happy, they wont give you an answer. And frankly speaking, i dont think think im the one being shooted at, coz that colleague doest like her. XD My other colleague told me that, when they overheard all these.

--

And another salesman disliked her as well. At first it was a misunderstanding for my part. I thought the customer is supposed to be paying a cheq, but then turned out to be a girl payment. And everyone who can collect the "cheq", is not free, so i was thinking of another date with the customer. I was like asking, "So its a cheq payment right?" "Yea yea.." ( or maybe my phone is too soft, i could hardly hear very well)

And then, the salesman called me in a furious tone =\, and told me the customer scolded him? But when i called, the customer was on leave leh o.O Then actually later on i apologized, and he could understand that im a freshie and no one has taught me all these stuff before, so he could understand, and said its alright. Then we both already confirmed its a giro payment, and then he wanted me to check the with the bank, and i was like asking the meanie boss for the no. And she goes, "Why do you need it for?!" Then i told her that the salesman ask me to check if the funds is already inside our bank, (she dont even know the salesman no. -.-) then she asked me to call him and she answered the phone, and the way she speak to him, is like trying to pick up a fight, and create a problem. And the worse thing is, i have told her is giro payment, she still thought its cheq payment X_x, "Ok, this salesman wont be helping you in the future to collect the cheq, next time you have to ask the dispatch man"

Then i was like HUH?! I was thinking if the salesman, have cooled down, then got angry again by this call made by her. Then the other day i was passing something to someone in his office. He saw me like 2 times, and asked me to sit down like 2 times, and talked to me about her. At first he used the joke that i have made, when i was introducing to everyone myself in the cascade. =0 Introducing yourself to 100+ people.. So nervous =\, but i already made a joke, for about myself..the other new colleagues will say something like, "nothing much about myself", but i said, "I crack jokes to people but i laugh myself"

Then the salesman was like using this joke to make me laugh a lil, then he said till im very pitiful leh o.O, "You know.. She isnt helping you. You know why her name is like that? Coz she is using you." (If you're chinese, you will know what is "using" in chinese, yea thats her name)

Lol, every time i walk into his office to pass something to someone. He will say something. Like the other time he said, "You have a very good supervisor.. Very good.. (gives a stern face) Good until.. She doesnt help you at all" Sarcasm la =\ But, im so glad that so many people can understand my plight, and that im trying hard to learn on my own. And one colleague will ask me if im ok lol. 2 or 3 meanies but so many nice people around. XD

Dont know what to say already. But whenever i talk to people, i keep feeling that there's still so much that i have not said. And sometimes it so much that i dont know how to express myself, till i become very quiet.

2007-05-12T16:04:00.000+08:00

Everyone knows working life sucks. I do know too. But my workload is like so heavy, till i dont even have the chance to slip out for lunch with my other colleagues. And another point is, i have never handled accounts stuff before, even during internship, so it was like 200% more harder for me. (Which is in total 300%)

Ok, why is it 300%?

The first 100%, would be the most commonly thought, "Working life sucks."
While the 2nd 100%, is due to poor handover of job. Someone is supposed to guide me my jobscope, like a week before they resigned. But there was none for me! At the start, i thought my supervisor is friendly, but it turned out she's....

She's.....

Umm Umm Umm...

She's......

=0 She's a MEANIE!!! ( My friend came to my table and asked me, "Eh changed shirt?" Then she was like talking to me about something, then she just said to him, "Can you please go away?" What the fuck, if im him, haha provided that i dont want to work there anymore i will say, "So what if i dont? You're gonna fuck me huh?")

She only know her stuff only, she doesnt know my stuff, ok maybe some. (You might be wondering, how the fuck she become supervisor xD) Everything that she taught me, is like not exact enough, i dont think she's a good coach and that the things she taught me, is kinda different from what the assistant manager have said.

She's biased towards the guy who is doing her *** ***** stuff. So patient for a guy. -_- As for girls, she will %@$%$^@^@$^@$^, and she dont even know how to teach me properly, still blame me! And im new.. the assistant manager sometimes will, give a puzzled look, but he would always say its alright, coz im still new xD

Imagine you're new to the place. You dont even know all the people there. Many faces that you have yet seen, but they are the one you're supposed to liase with. And no one tells you your jobscope. ( but last week the ex staff came to teach me, she's so nice :) she gave me herself)
You're just alone on your own. People keep coming to you to do things for them, and you dont even know if its within your jobscope. If you have doubts of something, you cant ask the supervisor, and you're all on your own. This is what she would say, "Ok, now i give you a challenging task, solve it on your own."

For trivial matter she also get so worked up, starting to dislike her alot lol (i should stop this though). I have got the assistant manager's signature, and told him about the situation of the payment stuff already, if he signed it, means he's agreed to it, so i can carry on the procedure with effect. And she's blaming me for >< releasing orders on my own?! What the fuck lol, its the assistant manager who wanted me to. Bah.

And the other colleague next to her. Look so old and vain one la. Act gentle only. XD omg why am i talking like this?! When i ask her something she seem so annoyed, is it because she's not happy that im the youngest person in the company? =D Old fag hahahahahaha. And for the other new guy, he dont even have to walk to her to ask. -_- She will walk to his table and teach him personally. HAHA FAG!! Want to court the lil boy eh? (lil to her la, but old to me) If im mean one day ar, i would say, "Eh, you think i will take it to heart? Young people wont take it against old people one" xD Later must get the black van to pick up the corpse haha.

Wanted to go for lunch with colleagues de. Either i forget the time, or im being held up by something, then i will not be able to join them for lunch :(. Coz the bus need to wait for like 30mins then will come la! The one and only.. And yesterday, i was alone at this busstop, the colleague i have mentioned in the last paragraph, came to the bustop and then she kept talking to another person, and i was like totally transparent there de lor, alone you know :(

Zzzz waited for so long the bus didnt come. My other colleagues called me and ask if i want "da bao" (takeaway) instead. But i dont want to stay in the office anymore! Then some mysterious car from our company came and stopped and asked us to hop in, so i did. That person is from our company de but i dont know them lol. So i went to look for the other colleagues and had lunch with them. Arrr finally got out of the wulu place!

My colleague told me im a fresh grad, and my jobscope is too much for me, but they told me to take it as an experience, so can learn more things. Now i understand why so many people left. I shouldnt be alone doing all those. Lol, but would the supervisor care?

So stressful at work le, but also quarrelled with parents everytime i come home. When i went out for dinner with friends, came back at 11.40pm she locked me outside the house. Then we quarrelled and quarrelled, i went to bathe and cried till 1am then sleep. The next morning i got swollen eyes, but still must go to work de ma. Then yesterday wanted to watch a lil tv when i got back home, then she dont let me watch. She say im just using the tv as an excuse to use laptop. But if she was right, is it wrong of me to use my own laptop? ( my hard earned de hor) Then now my parents dont like me le. Want me to move out of house soon. That week i was in super low mood. So depressed. Think of dying all the time to end all these. XD how funny

XD Yesterday my colleague said i look like a cartoon character. LOL! TWEETY BIRD?! Awww never heard the word, "cute" for so long liao. (thick skin now) xDxD

So i look like mickey mouse + tweety bird now huh?

All that i want now, is to live happily. =)

2007-05-06T16:10:00.000+08:00

Man, lol i blogged 3 entries in a day. I really have alot to say.

I hate this thing man. Every moment, when im there sitting at somewhere, be it im busy or free, she would keep taking food to me. Wah piang, i said dont want, still pushed to me and scold(though i think this word is too simple for my case) me.

Sometimes she pushed just too much to me. And my father even said, "Eileen has a poor gastric, if she cant take it, then shouldnt force it. Because it will be harmful."

And cousin was asking me to make a copy of a movie for him. Kept asking so many times, and he say talking to me like talking to wooden block like that. Eh?! My words are full of emotions de ok!! Then i told him in general what happened to me at home, and the following were the extract of the conversation:

Actually he said, "QUICKLY ASK THEM TO DIE LA"

[ ] ^^ says:
ya i agree
[ ] ^^ says:
u kena too mch pressure once u enter working society
[ ] ^^ says:
i poly now also feel the pressure liao
[ ] ^^ says:
so its best to find a gd guy to marry, better than working like a cow to earn money
[ ] ^^ says:
though i agree that child bearing is really tough
[ ] ^^ says:
well.. .. i think let nature take the course it will best i think
[ ] ^^ says:
they talk to u, jus one ear in one ear out
[ ] ^^ says:
treat ur brain as cache
[ ] ^^ says:
cache = temporary memory storage

--

Im very anti against those people who said the people living in modern days are very lucky kids/people. They get to study and other stuff. But, in the end who suffer more?? The modern people.

They get to face new stress. And get under very tight control under the parents (only for some cases like mine), grow up like a robot, with foreseen circumstances and everything is planned for you. Someone else plan for you. You dont get your own thinking. You dont get to make choices for yourself. You dont get to use your brain even sometimes. You just get the stress and burden of having to support these people who have raised you up. The people who controlled you ever since young. Isnt it like a robot? Robot dont have to think. Its like computerised already, already programmed (instructed to do something, depending on the situation). Ok, maybe humans are worse than robots. Human-robots.

2007-05-06T15:39:00.000+08:00

Why cant life pause like a game or something. Like die once (game over), then reload credit, to relive again when you feel like it. Maybe one day, if i can take it no longer from the stress, that (mostly come from home), i would stage a drama (maybe real or maybe fake) and threatened to kill myself.

Imagine..

"Dont force me.. I dont want to do this" *Points the knife at the wrist*

"Ehh CHEE BYE WHAT ARE YOU DOING"

LMAO

But maybe i will, someday.

What the fuck, like im going to be 20. One more year im going to be a real adult. And, why is people controlling my life for me. Scold me for working late -> think its fun is it? As if i love to work like that.

She also must supervise me what clothes to wear for work. I cannot have my own liking or preference is it??? Is this my life or lim bu's life? Like wah lau. Come back for a while to play abit of games or chat, or sunday rest only (Wah piang even sunday ask me to sleep early FUCK!)

Fuck la, get the whole world to sex. FUCK FUCK FUCK

2007-05-06T12:13:00.000+08:00

wtf?! lol i blogged so much liao, i clicked publish, then its a blank entry.

And whats wrong with these buttons again. *sighs*

So these were what i actually wanted to blog about, but it turned out to be a blank entry so i deleted the blank entry.

Lol, i really wonder who reads my blog other than myself xD ok, thats out of the the topic.

Recently, im falling into the state of depression. My life is becoming a schedule.

6.00am - my phone alarms and i wake up and brush my teeth etc

7.00am - i leave the house, and travel for 1hr 30mins to my workplace
(take the train and change to another train and then take bus)

8.30am - started working

By right my knock off time is 5.30pm, but these days i stayed till 9pm for OT. Not that i want to stay but no choice :(

If it hits 7pm, i can take cab home and claim from the company for the cab fare. The taxi driver thought i dont know how to go home and asked if im a taiwanese. LOL! Do i look like a taiwanese?

Everynight, normally if im going to stay late i will call home to tell my mom that.
(to be continued later **)

When i get home, my mom will ask me to..

"QUICKLY BATHE!"

"QUICKLY EAT! EAT FASTER!"

"QUICKLY IRON YOUR CLOTHES!!"

"QUICKLY SLEEP!!"

This is worse than school ok. Can never have your own private time. Feel really stressed, working and at home.

And whats more, im a complete noob in the office. Everyone told me they didnt do a proper handover. So they got the old staff back to coach me this saturday, and she was really nice and patient. Always smiling =D So cool to have her back to teach me, and she said im going to be so busy that i wont be able to do some stuff. So she asked for someone to help me temporary for the filing stuff and archiving, shredding, etc. We stayed till like 9pm. My phone was spammed like hell. I was in the toilet before i actually heard my phone ringing. Everyone called me to scold me for not calling home to say im in the office. Made the mentor felt bad la ><" My phone kept ringing and ringing and she overheard me on my phone. She was like talking to me halfway. Then phone rang so many times. She gave me her contact, and asked me to call her if i need help at work, and that she would help me. So nice of her :D And she even wanted to call a cab for me when she's leaving together with me. And when her cab came, lol she kept walking back to me and talked to me. And also told me to be careful and stand at the security guard there, its dangerous outside. xD So caring. I told her i made horrible mistakes. And she said, "who wouldnt?" Really felt very encouraged by her. This was the first time I met this lady, but i felt so close to her already. :D

2007-05-03T22:41:00.000+08:00

All these weeks seem pretty much like a question mark at this point of my life. What do i really want? What am i heading for? I dont know. Even if i have all the money in the world, i dont think i would be a happy person. But maybe at least, i would make my parents or my brother happy.

Somewhat, I dont really crave for the things that i really like in the past as much. (Examples like chocolates, any food la) And all the interests and likings seem to be dying. What has happened?!

Facing all the daily stress in the job, sometimes its really hard to hold back the tears. Like when talking halfway, I felt like crying (ok maybe im too emotional), i will look away (that kinda stopped me from going "Awwww" or self pity myself)

Some people are really nice. I was like, "OOPS" Then was kinda afraid to own up or something, but my conscious kept telling me to "GO GO GO!!!!!!!!!" If dont realise the mistake earlier, you will die harder. LOL! Just like the cherry tree story..

Some people are really helpful. Im so grateful and touched by these people. "If you do something wrong, no one can scold you, because you're a newbie" NEWBIE PWNS! LOL

Aiya, dont know what to say le. Alot of words to say, but its just so much. And i gotta sleep. :(

2007-05-01T01:41:00.000+08:00

Feel really stressed. Still unsure of many things at work. Today make some mistakes at work =( felt so bad. Today is month end, as i have presumed, i'd have to work OT or something. But went home at 9pm+, and i was alone when i headed out. The whole place was like so dim, so dark, and so quiet, and so remote. All alone there, waiting for a cab, but most of them were hired. I had a hard time getting one. So, asked my brother with a sms, "How to halt a cab". LOL!

And then, i was feeling so helpless and useless. Cant even halt a cab. ><" If you're wondering, actually i have not taken a cab on my own before, normally i take bus/train/get fetched. So.. Im a noob in this area as well.

Then my father told me he will come and drive me home. Then he said, if got bus then take bus or something. But the bus will never come la. When i was at the other side of the road, then the bus came. -_- It was too late for me to even run. For the one and only bus..

So, i was just maybe playing around with my luck. Tried halting a cab again, and then still, no cab stopping. And after some time, miraculously a cab stopped. And i hopped on, and i said the place, and the driver ask, "do you know which route to go?" I said no. And he told me he has to drop me, and he's really tired and said he live just around the area.(My house is damn far la) And yea he really did. Dropped me at the nearby shopping centre (at least got taxi stand there and crowded there la). AND ITS FOR FREE!!!

So, called brother up, and they came here to drive me home. Happy ending!!!

--
And i really really feel like a noob at work. I really wonder what i will become of in the future. I want to do something that can at least make myself proud of (some achievements). And dont understand why the asst. mnger kept saying sorry to me. >< Coz no one did a proper handover? He's going to get the old staff back and then can teach me and the other new staff.

2007-04-29T14:19:00.000+08:00

Yesterday woke up very early in the morning and went for the health screening. Im so damn tired. I love to sleep so much now. And when i got there, i have the chest xray thingy first.

Then went to the counter for some admin stuff, then she gave me a robe to change into and then wait for my name to be called, then i will go into the room and do the xray. The process is kinda fast. xD So i really heaved a sigh of relief after that. Coz i have so many weird doubts, of how the xray is going to be like. And wont you feel so "naked" inside the robe?? And when before i changed to the robe, there's this lady who kept looking at me. And after i changed into it, she also looked at me. -_- It made me very uneasy and uncomfortable there sitting while waiting for my turn.

And after that, i headed to the next room for my urine test. LOL I was wondering if the doctor will ask me to pee infront <-- weird though again here, then my brother said, "YES HE/HER WILL ASK YOU TO PEE NOW ON THE SPOT!!!!" He was being sarcastic la >.< So basically she would give you a strip of paper with some color lines, ask you to pee in a toilet, then dip it inside, then place it inside the plastic and seal it. She just look at it quickly and then can throw away the strip already. Then i had my blood pressure examined, and height + weight, and visuality test.

LOL, all these seem to be like my first time. Except for the visuality test and height + weight measurement of coz. She use something and wrap my hand TIGHT, and she pressed something, and the thing go tighter and tighter and tighter, till it cant be any tighter anymore. Then it just held there for so long. LOL! As for the visuality test, OMG i cant read so many things except the first line. X_x Maybe is because im still sleep ba. And I think i have grown shorter by 1cm. My height now is 166cm. Supposed to be 167cm o.O

Then headed to downstairs to have thai food with brother. =0 So expensive! $28+ for 2 bowls of tom yam soup + 1 drink each + 1 plate of desert (the mango with glutinous rice with coconut milk poured over it)

And ever since i started work, =( i kinda regretted. Not much privacy (hard to do my normal stuff), always, "LEEN LEEN LEEN" at home, have to do so many stuff even when its my day off. And when im at home, --> it always occured to people that im FREE now so i can do things for them and mom keep asking me to buy and buy and buy and buy clothes. -_- I spent so much money le. And so lazy to go shopping le la ><

2007-04-26T20:51:00.000+08:00

Tuesday was the first day of my work. I have got a table of my own. And the place is kinda big!! I have to wake up at 6am every morning until 18 May. Coz =D the workplace would be moved nearer to my house.

Tuesday I was basically "playing around" with things that i dont really know. Like bank recon stuff, I know how to do bank recon but i dont know how to trace LOL. So.. the first day is nothing much la. Supposed to be "Orientation day" but it was kinda cancelled or something. So we were starting to do some work. They introduced some of the people(but many already xD) to me. So we all shook hands and said hi.

**Note: I wrote "some", coz there are many offices!!

As for Wednesday.. hmm..
Basically the whole morning is stoning.. and dont know what were the other person doing, she's supposed to guide me, but she seems to be displeased with some stuff la.. but it has nothing got to do with me but its between her and the old staff. So at first she's kinda reluctant to coach i suppose? But later on she began teaching me ALOT OF STUFF!! But its like in rocket mode. So.. It was like so much stuff, and cant remember things well, and so fast.. So i was kinda struggling xD as to not to make any errors. Luckily didnt make any errors =D And hearing the word, "Good." makes my day =P

And today..I was very worried and all. Some stuff have to do it on the spot**, and if there were to be any delay, it would affect the other people's work. Its a job that requires alot of responsibility.

**Note: Even if its a minute.

So..I get pretty tired everyday when i get home. Its like 1.5 hours journey to and fro. And today my feet hurts like hell man. Blisters =( from the new shoes i bought on monday. Doll shoes really hurts you for the first time. Stood on the train for so long!! And dont understand why people still want to come in the train and squeezed like the sardine/tuna cans sold in retail stores.

-_- And for those sitting..(Especially the guys) Girls dont seem to have this problem. Thats weird. The guys tend to fall asleep on the train when sitting down, and then the head will move towards the lady, OR even drop on the lady's shoulder. And ah beks (the old old man) as well.

Somehow, i dont like some ah beks. Some ah beks have the typical kind of behaviours like digging nose.. digging ears... coughing/sneezing without covering the mouth..burping loudly.. spitting on the road or even masturbating (ok my mom seen it once, and she even warned me, "This is the guy who showed his dick"). And those hands..will be clinging on to the handle that you'd probably hang on in the future.

Im kinda against health screening, but i have to go for one, for the insurance thingy X_x. Hope i will do a good job in this company and i really look forward to the day its moving!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

So i wont have to travel so far. And dont have to wake up or sleep so early. The time taken for travelling to the new place should be about.. 35mins or so, which is about 1 hour lesser than the time im taking to the current workplace.

2007-04-23T22:40:00.000+08:00

This afternoon when i was changing and preparing for my interview at 4pm, i received a call from agent that i have been accepted by ********. Then she helped me to cancel the interview ^^ so nice of her. XD I WAS SO HAPPY! So i went down to sign the contract.

I was so worried that i wont be able to find a job soon. And this afternoon went shopping with my mom for office wear, bought many things and huge expenditure!!!!!

The following was what i spent today:
(but mother gave me $30 for topping up farecard though)
Topup farecard - $10
3 shirts - Around $30+ each
Doll Shoes - $26.90
My Bag - $22.90 i think
Mother's bag - $15.90 (OMG SO CHEAP?!)
Agent fees - $52.50

so i guess i spent about $200 today o.O

xD Great feeling though. =( Now i worry about my job. Gonna wake up at 6am everyday from tmr onwards. (This is for a month though, not forever) Coz the company is going to shift to somerset ^^ .

I really wonder what it would be like tmr..

New job.. New place..New people.. New challenges.. New stress.. New life experience!

The first step to independence!!

2007-04-23T12:38:00.000+08:00

Its going to be another negative post again. XD This blog is becoming very much like a vent-my-stress/anger-board.

---

When you were a kid, parents always ask you not to lie, and always tell the truth. And schools would tell you the story of hmm.. who was that boy.. the one who cut down his father's cherry tree.

XD Didnt know the name for that boy. So, i did a random yahoo search.

And here's where i've got,

Finding the scarred tree, his father said he wouldn't take five guineas for it. As the boy, hatchet in hand, appeared, his father asked, "George, do you know who killed that beautiful little cherry tree yonder in the garden?''

"I can't tell a lie, Pa; you know I can't tell a lie,'' said the boy. ``I did cut it with my hatchet.''

(Though maybe he didnt really cut down with that hatchet. Know what i mean? He could have attempted to cut it, but the tree might have collapsed due to other reasons? xD)

Ok, then lets assume that the tree was cut down by that boy named George.

So the moral behind this story, is to always be honest so people around you will forgive you??

---

If my mom was that "Father", while im that "George", I think she would have killed me with that "hatchet" ( or even before i say i did it).

On the other hand, she loves to lie man.

Be it salespeople, "Tell them im not in."

Or relatives, "If they call, say im not at home"
(that is, if something happened or if there's a misunderstanding/dispute"

OR

Put words in people's mouth.

[Argued with her earlier, and she's being so unreasonable. Always mentioned the names of the people i dislike (ALWAYS!!!!) and keep saying stuff that i suck, thats why i dont go out with anyone and saying that i suck. -_- As if those bunch of people that i dislike are really angels.

And the dialogue im going to write below is really ridiculous.

(this was erm, like a few months ago's conversation.)

her: You're just student, and you have made so many enemies (enemies??????)
me: So you mean you like everyone in the world, and including that old bitch?
(my father's mother, that one.. you would hate her even though you're outsider, she has indirectly killed her husband and brought harm to many people)
me: So there's no one in the world that you dislike huh?
her: A student shouldnt make any enemies (wtf??? students are humans too. -_-)
her: Just admit it. You sucks. So no one likes to be with you.

-_- Yea, thats how she always talk to me. But in mandarin though.

P/S: No enemies though. The only person that i hate in this world would be that old bitch. Coz she has inflicted pain/harm to so many people. She wants to break our family, she gets us into many problems ( govt. sent people down here, police visits coz she called the police to stir it up more, and court coz i asked my mom to apply for protection, but then well.. the judgement is ridiculous i think. What can i say? The application for protection order failed just because that old bitch is an 80 yr old person--> Whom the judge assume that she's already so old, and there wont be much that she could do. And we have to take of her?? WTF? So, if a person turns to an old age, so means that person can kill har? Old -> Harmless??? So no imprisonment??) Though, she hasnt really harm me, but she wanted though XD i knew it. =D but i will never let her get her way. I shouldnt be fearful of her, inspite of her evilness. I would always stand up and face her challenge :D

And if you're wondering what she did, she has hit her dont know who's sister up, and the person is kinda pitiful, receiving treatment for dialysis, (dont know if shes still alive though), and one of them is her son's mistress -_- WTF? The wife wanted to leave.. and stopped by her, and got beaten up by the daughters and her very badly. Till.. she cant pee for days, and hospitalised, bleeding there also X_x, and my mom has got abused also by her, and she slapped my brother and attempted to attack my brother and mom with the umbrella, AT THE SHARP SHARP POINT YOU KNOW??

One situation i've heard of is,
...her coming out from her room to kitchen (masterbedroom ok?)

(she looks at them eating and talked in hokkien.)

her: Haha. Dogs eating shit.

bro: Just do whatever you want and go away. Stop stirring trouble here.

her: Huh? Grow up already, "yar yar"( means arrogant i think) already?

And i dont know whats the conversation after that, then she started using her umbrella and turned it around to the sharp edge, and used it to attack bro n mom. Mom blocked him (wahh like mercutio blocking romeo, eh or was it benvolio X_x arr forgotten already) So she got a purple bruise on her right fist.

If you're wondering what i meant by her killing her husband indirectly, thats because her husband had diabetes, and we all know that diabetes patients if they were to have wounds or whatever injuries, it will take forever to heal OR it will never heal. Diabetes patient cant use plasters even, when they tear it off, the flesh will come off as well, thats what i heard from a teacher. Sounds so painful :( So yea, she squeezed a "pimple" thing on her husband back, and from there it became an endless pit ( i may have exaggerated the "pit" but heard that its really HUGE, a HUGE HOLE that stinks) and died.
---

Actually I have woken up in the early morning. Just that I didnt want to climb up of bed xD. Then i heard her answering the phone. (Oh yea, the weird thing is, she would wait for the phone to ring thrice or more then she would pick up, even she's just beside the phone.)

Then after that call, she came to the room, like godzilla marching in ferociously, "CHEE BYE SLEEP SO LATE THEN MORNING DONT WAKE UP EARLY #$@$^@$&^#%&%@$@"

-__- And here goes the story..

Yesterday, that evil baboon (if you have no idea who is that, its my 1st bro, whom i dont talk to for years, coz he sucks XDXD. Well, actually tried talking to him in the past, but he still refused, so i give up talking and it continued like this ever since) was packing to go overseas for business trip, he's still a undergraduate though. He came home, and was rushing everything, and make alot of bangings and "HMPH!!" sounds. Then i was like enjoying a youtube vid, and then mom suddenly started scolding me for wearing earphones, and ask me to keep the clothes, and bla bla bla, and run down to open the mail for the baboon. ( she wanted me to do it in a hurrying manner )

Just before he left, he told mom to fill up a form for his application for job. A form of the family's employment details for Ernst and Young. I think he worked there before. And wanted her to mail it fast. So THE WHOLE DAY after he left, my mom was making a fuss about it, and annoyed all of us with that form. Like wtf, i was filling up mine on friday's afternoon, and asked her about some stuff that im unsure of, like my father's contact no. and she said, "Why? Why must put? Why so troublesome?? I dont know. Better dont put." OK, then i didnt put. Like, she dont really care about mine when i was filling it up :( for unilever. Then today, he called home and she answered the phone and he say dont send it first, coz need to add something more. -_- But mom hurried father to send it yesterday, so he did it this very morning before his work. So it was sent already, and she called him if he has sent it, then he got angry and scolded her, "Why the fuck keep hurrying me??? I have already sent it." <-- thats what he said probably, coz she told me that.

Evil baboon always seek us for help, but in the end would push all the blame to us. And im always the one involved in every problems. =(

Now, its 2 hours to my next interview.

2007-04-20T21:38:00.000+08:00

This morning my mom woke me up in the early morning, telling me that my phone has got a message. And it was my brother who was asking me if i have seen his bluetooth on his table.

ARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR So sleepy and woke up at the wrong side of my head maybe. It hurts alot today.

And then i kept searching.. and searching.. (without my glasses, very sure he didnt leave it in the house).. and searching, and i messaged him,

"Check the laptop bag."
"Dont have."
"Check the car later?"
"Found. Thanks."

And then.. back to sleep.. BUT i cant sleep T.T The head hurts so bad that i cant sleep o.O

--

I check my email this morning (agent told me she would send me this morning) and then i checked it and then wanted to print the documents, and needed to make copies of my cert. And bla bla bla..had my lunch, then i was kinda rushing to go off already.

AND!

My mother can still ask me do this and that when i was in a rush LOL!! My walking speed was almost running speed already. And she really intended to go with me, coz it was very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very far away. So yea, she went together with me. Actually i know how to go to the place myself, but then, never been to those places, so feel kinda insecured --> kinda happy that she's wanting to go with me ( she volunteered), but on the other hand, it makes me more dependent like this and my brother isnt happy with this all the time. BUT when it was like sooo late already, and im already wearing my shoes, i dont know what she doing. Waited quite a while.. and then i have to walk very fast to the photocopying shop to get my cert photocopied, while she tops up her farecard. (So nice that she accompanied me but then, xD it made everything slower.)

And i was like late for 20mins for the "interview". And when i got there, it was only online registration for a few mins on the computer, and consulting with the agent. But the jobs she offered is really good (location and pay and benefits wise).

As for the unilever interview, the people there seems really friendly. It was a casual and nice interview (of which i do more of the talking). She said im cheerful and my writing is neat? =0 I told my mom this and she said, "YOUR WRITING IS CALLED NEAT?" xD

Then it was stormy and raining heavily, got stucked at that place. So my brother was msging me how did it go, i called him and told him its done and that its raining heavily over there. So he came to fetch us home.

And right after this interview, i got shortlisted for another interview again. And after this shortlisted interview, i got another call again.

o.O I wonder how much i have spent on answering calls like this and travelling to places. (though my brother drove me most of the time)

2007-04-19T21:25:00.000+08:00

I dont understand what she wants. Everytime i get shortlisted for a job, there's never a positive comment. And if i reject it, everyone would start blaming me. So what does everyone want of me?

2 interviews tmr in a row.

- Jac
- Unilever (which i have been told will be shifted)

2007-04-16T16:26:00.000+08:00

Wanna get all your moods destroyed? Contact my mother.

Today heard a very interesting story from her though. She said there's one uncle in the market who bought cheap sea cucumbers from an indo seller. There are many types of sea cucumbers. Some are cheaper, some are more expensive. Then this uncle has many grandchildren, so he bought alot of them, coz its cheap from the indo seller. =0 And they all suffer diarrhoea and kept throwing up after consuming the sea cucumbers. Many sea cucumbers appeared before the tsunami has taken place. Like a huge amount of them. So these belong to that "batch" ba.

Animals have instincts and they behave weirdly when a disaster is approaching. The animals will run away from these disasters. Even a snake saved the life of a lady. (forgotten where i got this story from though, maybe its from newspaper) Like, there could be drains anywhere on the road, big drains, small drains (holes i mean).

If you step into these drains carelessly, you might hurt your spine or something. My friend's mother came to our school on Speech Day in the past, coz it was night time, she wasnt careful enough to spot the holes or drains on the grounds. (maybe she's not that familiar with the place)
So she fell down into and got her spine injured i think. So they called ambulance and sent her to hospital. =\ Dont know what happened after that though. So better be careful of holes/drains on the ground. Anything could happen. =\

2007-04-15T13:36:00.000+08:00

19 years. 19 years and i feel that my life is about to end. I wonder if anyone would have the tolerance to endure this kind of psychological/physical torment.

I woke up in the morning. I brushed my teeth. As usual, my mom start scolding me for not getting a job. Its not that im not trying. I cant just possibly give all the jobs (even not the suitable ones) a try right? Im going to look for one that i can really work a long time.

Wasnt feeling well this morning. She told me not to touch that laptop( even though im the one bought it --> my brother should be the one owing her the money for it, coz he used my $$ in the past, so that could be bad debt as well ) , ok so i didnt for that while. Wanted to do the chores as usual ( maybe that will appease her for abit).

I was sitting on the sofa, listening to music from my mp3 player, and reading something. Then she called me into the room, and started scolding. And asked me to go read newspaper. -_-" I dont like to read newspaper in chinese de. The words are so hard to read on newspaper. They purposely use sophitiscated words instead of simpler words on newspaper. So hard to read.

So i went to on laptop, coz --> she's not happy with whatever im doing, i might as well do something that she still wont like, but i want :D Then -_- someone came and said the minister is coming. She got so worked up. I dont understand why. Not that the minister has done any evil deeds to her before in the past or whatever. "You'd better tell him that im not at home, and better dont ask him to come." Huh? Ask me to drive the minister away? "HEY you're not welcome here ok, pls go away." (Of course i wont be say that -_-)

She scolded me for a long time. I didnt ask the minister to come what -_-. And then she wanted me to say i have exams, then ok, i said i have exams --> if thats what make her appeased. THEN, minister came and said, "you're having exams? of? in?" Omg i also didnt know how to answer. She made me lie =(

Then after he left, she started scolding me again, "Why say you're having exams??"
-_- And bla bla bla bla bla, till i cant take it. I dont know what's on her mind. Like she wants you to do something, you do it, and she's never happy. Then start scolding you and even wanted to hit me -_-

Isnt this psychological/physical torment, what i've mentioned earlier?

Yesterday i watched a show on tv. The true files. I had a very strong opposition against the father in that true case. The one who murdered the daughter's fiance. She's 20+ le ba, and yet her father still wants to control her so much. Always scold and when she comes home late, he will @#%$^#@%$@$ alot. I dont go out much recently, and if i do, i dont really come home that late ba, maybe latest was 12am, but her father is very much like my mother.

Why would they want to be like this? Because they hate us or what? Or they think by doing this is the best way of bringing us up or just doing us "good"??? By not giving us space for our own stuff, by "caging" us, by giving no freedom. So what do they expect for the results of their doings? To have a healthy, cheerful, independent and quick-witted child huh?

Bullshit.

2007-04-11T13:39:00.000+08:00

This morning went to the shop for replacing the battery for my mom's watch, and then bought chu mi fen, and then bought the lor mee~ The lor mee is very nice. Some good food are actually sold in wulu wulu place. Where nobody will find out there's so much good food there, and there the kopitiam has really few people, dont really understand why.

---

Monday was mom's birthday. I had an interview that day, and was kinda glad that brother came home, to give mother a treat later on that day, and also to give me a lift to the company. Due to staying over at my cousins' place over the last few days, my brother heard from my uncle that i should actually work for that $1600 job. (-_-) How the hell my aunt's husband will know, so, it must be my brother who was being nosey to tell him about it.

The $1600 job, doesnt consists of only $1600 valued work. Because, later on that day, i checked my email, and read the agent's forum, for the "new jobs available", it has a posting that is very very similar of that company's requirement. And now, the salary being offered is, 2k-3k. So imagine, you get paid for $1600, for a $2000-3000 job.

Then my brother and mom, combined their forces against me that day. Blaming me for being how stupid i was to actually, reject that job offer. IT was like just before the interview, like 30 minutes left or so. They blamed me for trying this one, coz it offers a much lower pay, but simpler tasks job. Then i really dont know what they want of me at that moment. I was like prepared to go there already, then they still #!@%#!^@ at me. Then i cried. -_-

So yea, then my brother fetched me to the place for interview. And then, I waited quite long la. I reached there at about 2pm. Filled up the form they want me to fill, and then sat on the sofa and waited, till like 3pm? Then after the interview, for about 30 mins or so, my brother came to fetch me, and now mother is also in the car, and went to yam cha.

LOL! I kinda feel like a "suan gu" (mountain tortoise), whenever i go to a place that i have never been to. I know they sell dim sum, but had yet try it. Then we had the buffet package. We ate SO MUCH man. Till we wanted to throw up already, LOL! and i still had the cheek to ask my brother, "eh where is our pork ribs order?" Then my mom stared at me in atonishment+anger. Coz, we were kinda full =\ Then the pork ribs came actually, =( but have to reject it, that is my favourite actually.. But then, mom knows how to cook that too =\

For 3 person, and my brother also ordered some stuff that is outside the buffet menu, and the meal costed him about $60.

Then we were so full, till i find it very hard to walk even. LOL! Like your stomach is so bloated with food that you've just finished. You enjoy the process when eating the food, =\ but the process after it sucks.

So, my mom ask if i wanan go AMK hub and shop too. o.O Can you believe it? I live like SO NEAR the amk hub, but monday was the first time i went there. It is HUGE. Compared to the past, it's alot alot better now, coz the space there was completely useless. Now, it has almost everything. You can find anything you want there as long as you have the money to shop. And, the NTUC here is a hypermart. Sells EVERYTHING! And very convenient for those who drives as well. After you shop in NTUC, take travelator down, to put down your things in the car, then shop around again.

And today got shortlisted again for another interview which is tmr.

2007-04-08T13:51:00.000+08:00

Sometimes.. i really wonder, why do i exist in this place, why am i on earth? Somewhat i feel that, after graduating from poly, my life has started to become even more disastrous.

I feel that people are expecting alot hell out of me. Wants me to get a job, to earn money, study. It's not that i dont want to get a job or whatever. I had 4 jobs in the past. I dont like people stressing on me like this. I want to get a job. I need money. I want to further my studies, thats for sure.

Every single day, i feel like a prisoner. It wasnt like this at first. Ever since i have stopped going to school, I really didnt mind doing house work for mom. But i just couldnt understand what people really want. Lets say for instance, i have swept the floor, after a few minutes, she would ask, "Oh thats so fast?", "Sweep again, i dont think its clean.", " YOU CHEE BYE, sweep floor also like that *snatches the broom from me sometimes when i was sweeping*"

Then when i finally sat down at my desk. Reading some blogs, or interesting websites, watching youtube or reading job advertisements to get an approximate idea of how much i should be getting for a job, i always get accused for playing. Even when im chatting, "Only know how to play, come and hang the clothes." (though i have no idea, why i have to clothes like at night, does anyone do that? o.O)

When im actually interested in playing some new songs that i have heard on the keyboard, she would, "STOP DAN DAN DAN THAT THING, WILL GET A PRIZE IF YOU PLAY WELL OR WHAT?? YOU THINK YOU'RE REALLY THAT GOOD??"

(-_-) I have never claimed myself to be good or even normal. But that kinda hurted me. They never like what im doing.

Even when i have started to do something about getting a job, almost every morning i get scolded. Ok, i dont really believe that my mom --> said that my dad scolded me for this and these. Because, she likes to put words into people's mouths, especially mine -.-

I went for the first interview on last tues. The employer's face features and expressions, tells me that "He's a meanie". And i was right. "So.. what has these skills got to do with accounting?" And he actually stared at the salary im expecting xDxD. And asked, "Are you responsible if theres work undone, and you stay behind to finish them?" I said yes, but regrettedly. "I dont pay OT" -.- "you have to work on saturdays half day, is that ok?" xD Its not very of me to say no >< although i dont really like the requirements. Coz i was really desperate in getting any jobs (of coz decent ones la) He said if i were to be selected he would tell me by wednesday most probably. And then, i dont receive anything on wednesday (xD was kinda happy), till thursday i got a msg from the employer, "Can you tell me when is the earliest you can start work?" I wasnt sure how to reply, coz i kinda hate the work he's expecting me to do if i were to be employed. Customerservice + Accounts + Purchasing = FOR JUST THAT AMOUNT OF MONEY? That's like 3 person's job. A customer service assistant would have easily gotten anyone a $1400-$1700 a month. Account assistant = $1600 (market rate) For purchasing clerk i dont know yet xD

And so, i will look forward to the interview on monday o.O though its low pay, but the job scope is quite easy. And its a mnc. Super near my house too!! =DD

Keep blaming me for not finding a job, and yet asking me to do so many things, and lile whenever something bad happens, they will point their finger ONLY at me.

--- Random Situation No. 1---

That day they went to cementary to pay respects for the ancestors? then i was woke up by my mom at 6am to watch the joss sticks burns till its done, and then i went back to sleep. My mom has warmed the pot of curry that she has cooked, when i woke up again it was still very hot. And i dont know why she warm it again when she's back (when its warm ><) I was watching a film on youtube with earphones on. So i couldnt hear what my mom was saying. Didnt know she is warming the pot of curry again. And then after a while, i got scolded by my father. "Eh, play play play only la, all you know is play. The curry cooked you also never go and turn off the stove" (-_-) For all i know, my 1st brother was standing right at the stove, and i cant understand why he pointed the blame at me, and he himself was walking around the house doing nothing as well -_- .

Do you feel the injustice here?

*anyway, i dont have a english speaking family, they speak hokkien or chinese most of the time*

xD it can be really funny when my mom ask me about a word,

her: what is this word?
me: value
her: what is value?
me: jia zi ( in chinese)
her: then what is jia zi???
me: value lor!!!

I really cant think of another word to explain that. Like air. Air is air. You cant see air, but its there. Its hard to explain =\

---Random situation no. 2---
1st brother is going for a overseas business trip again, wanted to buy a new luggage and he didnt take measurements for the size before he went out. He called home, and i passed the phone to mom. She suddenly took the measuring tape thingy and she placed her finger at one point of the ruler and asked me how much is it. I read exactly where she pointed at, "53 cm"

Then when father returned home she asked him to measure, "47cm" -_- He called 1st brother and then when 1st brother came home. He starts blaming people. (btw, we dont talk at all)
And then, he measures himself, and compare it with the new luggage. and he said to my mom, "its 47 and you say 53"

mom: I asked eileen to help me see she say is 53cm
(i only read the measurement anyway)
him: Measure alsol dont know how to measure.. what kind of education does the person have
mom: She helped you to see hor
him: Maybe she gives you the figures she sees from her computer screen
me: DONT EVER ASK ME TO HELP IN ANYTHING THAT IS ASSOCIATED WITH HIM EVER AGAIN

---

I hate this type of attitude man. I've regretted for so many things. Ha! When i wanted to give a treat it was my 2nd brother's birthday, then i asked my 2nd brother to go and buy( but he returned me half the money anyway), then when mom asked, "Can i keep some for the 1st brother too?" I SHOULD HAVE SAID NO. Coz my 2nd brother also didnt like it too. (He grumbled to himself and said, "So when did he ever share his?" ) But i said yes. >< Or like when i buy something, he gets a share of it. (Still had the mindset that, "We're a family afterall) BUT, like right after yesterday, I felt that my help for all the times werent appreciated at all, and i dont give a damn to anything to anything that is associated with that brother anymore.

I felt so much hatred suddenly =(( hates so much about everything.

---
And talking about birthdays.. tmr is mom's. And brother is going to give her a treat at some place. But have to wait for me first.

Kinda envy those people who actually celebrate birthdays. In the past, i love to countdown to my own birthday. Like look at the clock and wait for 12am and hops around excitedly to tell my brother, "ITS MY BIRTHDAY SO WHAT ARE YOU GETTING ME?!" And he will just give you a laughter as present.

And now, when its my birthday, i will just hope the day will quickly passes, coz who would fucking care if its my birthday =DD Its now just a date to me that indicates, the start and ending of a a number of which is the age.

Like for example, "Ohhhh~~~ Im going to be 20, End of 19!!!"

Frightening day

2007-04-03T21:07:00.000+08:00

My cousin's new house is finally done and i was dragged to go their house o.O the other day and aunt bought japanese food as dinner for everyone, total adds up to $400+

!!!!

An apple --> $12.90!! Costs more than a bowl of ba chor mee!!!

Their house is really nice, cosy and modern looking. Nice design, and have the sea view also. They can watch the sunset every morning. o.O

And I've started to look for jobs, but not that persistent enough though ( i think )

Received a number of calls for job openings, but then my brother said dont take up those, there will be better ones.

Then this morning i received a call, and ask me to go for a interview. Its kinda weird, agent dont take money from my salary meh? Maybe commission ba..

Didnt know where is the place.. couldnt find the place as well.. and then i was worrying so much, and then i was so afraid i would be late, dad wanted to fetch me, then brother came home like less than 20mins to 5pm (the interview time) Worried so much, but i still got there earlier xD Didnt expect the place to be like this.. Like shops everywhere, and i think the only nicest place there is the company i've gotten my interview ba. Next door is a bakery shop( o.O so weird right??) But mom say the bread from that shop is super nice. And the food there ROCKS. My brother bought my dinner by accident so gotta eat it. From what i have tasted, the char kway teow, hokkien prawn mee and the fried prawn crackers stall stuff is very nice. *still drooling*

When i reached the place, i was like, "err this one?" Then i went in, and talked to one of the staff, and he handed me an application form and led me into another room. When i have finally filled up the form, i waited for a few minutes, then the actual person to interview me came up to me and started interviewing me. Seriously, i dont know if he wants me to do alot of stuff or not. He did mention about the salary (he thinks its overestimated, but NO!! the agent told me to ask for that amount, "its the market price") Then he was looking at the "skills". "Hmm.. Flash.. does that apply to accounting?" -_-" Cant people pick up some skills as an interest?

The interviewer looked fierce. =\ I think i did the interview too well le la ><" My intuition is most of the time true, i have a feeling im going to get that job. But i dont know la =\ I think if i got it, im going to be soooooooo tired. -.-" Like what my mom said, "WAH bao shan bao hai!!!" wah lau, accounts got do until like that de meh???????

The boss in the end try to sound nice, intro his company, say his company is set up in 2004, and last year turnover was double, which is from 1mil to 2mil. o.O My brother say "Chey so little" And he's going to aim 5mil this year. High ambition!!! And his requirements sure very high ><"""" Want me to do this and that ZZzzzzz. And even said, "ohhh.. if im happy with your performance, i might give you a raise, or maybe you worked for 2 years or something, then maybe you wanna be a sale designer or something =D also can"

BUT there's one thing i noticed. One staff got the very kelian and "pls dont bully me T.T" look. So i keep having thoughts that the boss might be a very hard to accomodate person. So i was kinda hoping i wont get the job ba. X_x

LOL. And there's a piano inside there. So weird!!! Like imagine a workplace with a piano inside o.O

If i get the job.. i m going to be sooo busy.. and stressed =((

2007-03-22T13:35:00.000+08:00

An all-time favourite song (heard it from my mp3 player this morning)

COLLIN RAYE Love Me

I read a note my grandma wrote back in nineteen twenty-three.

Grandpa kept it in his coat, and he showed it once to me.

he said,Boy, you might not understand,

but a long, long time ago,

Grandmas daddy didnt like me none,

but I loved your grandma so.

We had this crazy plan to meet and run away together.

Get married in the first town we came to, and live forever.

But nailed to the tree where we were supposed to meet, instead

Of her, I found this letter, and this is what it said:

If you get there before I do, dont give up on me.

Ill meet you when my chores are through;

I dont know how long Ill be.

But Im not gonna let you down, darling wait and see.

And between now and then, till I see you again,

Ill be loving you. love, me.

I read those words just hours before my grandma passed away,

In the doorway of a church where me and grandpa stopped to pray.

I know Id never seen him cry in all my fifteen years;

But as he said these words to her, his eyes filled up with tears.

If you get there before I do, dont give up on me.

Ill meet you when my chores are through;

I dont know how long Ill be.

But Im not gonna let you down, darling wait and see.

And between now and then, till I see you again,

Ill be loving you. love, me.

Between now and then, till I see you again,

Ill be loving you. love, me.

Very meaningful song =\ Knew this song since primary school, coz my teacher likes it alot. (hes a mix = Portugese + German)

2007-03-16T13:14:00.000+08:00

Been a long time since i've last blogged xD. It always occur to me that im not going to make it for this final exams. But I DID! LOL xD Yay!!! Cheers for everyone who are going to graduate. Well, Chinese New Year wasn't what i have expected; Have the steamboat dinner at cousins' house as usual (XD VERY SUMPTUOUS --> Abalone, Scallops, The very very nice stuff , etc.) Then when night arrived, my cousins was deciding between which movie to watch. Then the first thing that come to my mind was, "I hope i'd brought enough money." And then, coz its a festive season, they presumed that the seats are going to be taken up very soon, and they also cant decide on which to watch, xD coz our preferences are sooo way different. So.. We headed to PartyWorld!! Expensive though.. Each person are expected to pay like $35 each. BUT, xD my aunt( its my mom's sista xD) took out $500 and handed it to the maid and sponsored the fun xD (while the adults are enjoying playing mahjong in the house). MUAHAHAHA then i dont have to pay xD. However -.-, it took a longggggggggg time when my song comes. Like most of the singing was done by the 2 cousins -.-". Sometimes the cousin will say, " I will help to defend for you! You havent sung a single one yet." Then when my song came, my cousin (elder than me) whispered to my ear , "Hey, my sister like this song.. would you mind if.." Then i said, "Okay", and passed it to the cousin :( There's always this "gap" between this cousin's family and the rest. Coz, the cousins are kinda self-centered and very proud of what they are doing. However, we will still care for them and when their mom was in hospital my mom will cook and go and visit her and also for her children (incase they never eat). They are self-centered as in.. Like look at the PartyWorld example, though she said ><" she's going to get me to sing, but she took away my song! LOL xD And kinda "proud" coz they will always talk about, "wah.. this who hor.. did this and that" (like showing off like that) And the cousin who knows how to drive asked mybrother, "Where did you learn your driving ar, is it ang mo kio?! I think learn driving there is easy to pass." (-_-") Wtf?! I dont see any logic in this. My brother replied, "No. I learnt in Ubi" Its a very obvious attacking sentence you see. -- Hadnt been going out at all. Sad to say that im not being asked to go out :( So my mom is angry at me for this. "Why are you always at home sitting there?! Cant you have any activities outside?" I didnt dare to look for a job coz i wouldnt know if i will graduate. All the answers i wrote were ><" totally crappy and i really didnt expect myself to pass actually. So its was kinda miracle for me :D Everyone was like asking me, "So when will you graduate?" Then i would answer, "Erm it depends on the results." then i could see their expression like this --> (-_-) looks kinda disappointing though. I was like abit happy when a best friend ( of maybe 7 years ago?) suddenly talked to me on msn. And is asking about hows my life. Then asking when i graduate -.- I have this feeling that she's just trying to know when poly students are going to graduate, then they will fight for a place in the University. Sometimes i dont know why, xD i guess i always typed too fast even before i think if its appropriate to talk like that. "So, are you just going to ask me about school stuff?" Then she said no and said, "just asking if you're free" WAH then i was kinda happy again, then she added, "Want to be a volunteer???" -_- Im not that kind la. I always do chores at house. I do enjoy it sometimes but its coz its my home ma and im not in school =X so i will do chores ( daily chores : hang clothes, sweep floor, wash basin, mop floor sometimes, etc etc) When i was in secondary school, we have to do CIP (community work --> at least 2 times a year) Then my class were supposed to help out at the old folks home. It was fun but i dont really like the place. And they dont really clean up>> and wait for volunteers to come and clean i think. Then we have to clean rooms. Then my friend actually screamed suddenly and we found out that there's a dead lizard or something. Arrr Lizards!! -_- And the admin there, OMG tell you ar, really merciless to volunteers. I did so much stuff already then she asked me to photostat for her. Then she is instructing me in such a way that she's not appreciating the help, but rather she's "using" me. She told me that she wants me to finish the whole stack of booklet! If i didnt remember wrongly its about 300+ pages, AND have to be double sided pages (have to use bypass, one by one!) So when my teacher and the rest was going off, then i was still there trying photostat very fast, then i was only at page 200+ (Better than those photocopying shop. Im very efficient xD) Then my friends or the teacher asked me to stop the work and go home. LOL xD was so happy. I think the lady must be very angry ba. Coz she havent use me enough xD. So thats why i dont like volunteer work. Some of the old folks would scold and doesnt want any help. Coz they dont want to be thought as useless or helpless folks. So i dont really like to do volunteer work because some people wouldnt want the help (dont like people to touch your things, same as me xD) and -.- people like the admin who make use of volunteers. I dont think its very meaningful to photocopy the booklet for the admin. She can just do it by herself. And it has nothing got to do with community work. -- And what has infuriated me lately was the 1st brother. I dont understand why my house is like a wang gong(palace). Then i have to do stuff like the gong niu (palace maids but not the nong mo mo la) Then mom is the Dowager ba. The 1st brother emperor lo. -_- Everything he do is ok. Everything i do is wrong. 2nd Brother was sleeping in the room coz he wasnt at home. Then he came back from overseas from work, then he just slam everything, then my mom wants me to wake up my 2nd brother coz the 1st brother has come back. Need to qin an or not? or bow? or kneel??? Everything he has got is the best. Like the salmon, my mom wouldnt let anyone else eat. Then the other day he was throwing the towels on the floor! I folded them and placed them in cabinet but he took them out. I was sweeping the floor then. Then he just shouted, "WHERE IS MY TOWEL" then i said its all there and then he throw all of them out of cabinet. Then he asked again, then throw all of the clothes that were folded and stacked -_-" Also dont know why the mom dont stop him. Im always the one who clear the mess. Like if he throws something then my mom will ask me to pick me up :( or i will get hit. So i always get involved in trouble like these at home. Then my mom wanted him to pick the clothes up. Then he said he wont till all his clothes are place on his bed. Then my mom wanted to me to do it then i didnt know which clothes belongs to him either so i randomly picked. DIDNT WANT TO! But i dont want to get slapped. And cried while doing it :( Kinda feel like a dog sometimes. Doing things that you dont want to, but yet you cant do anything about it. Its very very not of me, to always pick up the mess. *yawns* so much rambling xD I should go and enjoy my yummy fishball noodles now ^^

2007-02-17T10:43:00.000+08:00

Terrible week. I cant stop having doubts that i can pass the exams (though i always think like this, but this time i feel that its more intense). I did study! But.. somehow, i feel that everything is not enough, and i have been writing bullshit in the papers. I have been dwelling on it every single day. Out of house, inside the house, sleeping, dreaming, etc. I just cant help to think that Im going to flunk one of those papers. :( Will guan yin ma save me? I want to pass all. And i dont mind getting a D. It still looks beautiful to me. :(

When people start asking questions like, "So what are you going to do now that exams are over?" Seriously, i dont know what i will do. Maybe i will find a job, then i will try to earn some money. But i cant guarantee that i can graduate yet. :(

Kinda bored after the exams. Even though its over, like already 2 days for me, I still feel that it's not over yet! It's going to be chinese new year, and i dont know how im going to face my relatives. I bet they're going to ask me questions like, "So, you're going to graduate like maybe in march or april? ( I dont know when la)" And i wonder, what im going to do at their houses.. like watch tv all the way again? And i dont really like the idea of gambling (like have to pay money), but so far, i have never pay any cent of money yet. Even though the other time i lose quite a no. of games, my cousin's "dont know who", say he shouldnt take our money, then he returned the money. LOL! X_X If want to gamble and scare will lose, should find this type of people to play with.

For the past few days, i have been thinking of, if i were to die, how should i die ar? Sometimes i will think of stupid things. Like before, during, and after the exams, i was having a "fun" talk with sweety. Then before the exam paper, we were saying, "After they distributed the paper, imagine people start taking out banners from below their seats, and tear the paper into halves,, turn over the tables and hold on strike!!! Start a propaganda against exams." Then during the marketing paper, i was thinking, "How is the marker going to mark this?! Is he/she going to laugh/cry? Laugh -Because i really wrote bullshit. And the marker may think, "OMG, has this student sat for the right paper? Cry-Well, maybe the marker is bald. Qns no.5, is all about YunNam, then im "kinda mean" when writing my explaination for the question. I dont know is it correct or wrong. I wrote its not a very good way to direct market to these people. Because some of these people might have been to many places for treatment, and they would have "lost some confidence" like places for hair treatment. And, they feel inferior, so the advertisement must have something to tempt them so that they will find the urge to go since maybe they will get to win something, or a free hair treatment thingy, or get the treatment at a cheaper price. Like this, "WAH LAU! LAST TIME I WENT TO THAT PLACE HOR, SO EXPENSIVE! AND IT CANT SOLVE MY HAIR PROBLEMS. This one damn cheap, plus got offers, gifts, lucky draw, etc. Since this is cheaper and have more benefits, i dont mind giving it a try." Maybe i answered the question wrongly ba. Then IF the marker really have hair problems hor, die lor. Write wrongly>> plus, i sounded so "mean" in the paper. Marker's thoughts: "Wah lau this student dont give me face. I better dont give sympathy marks to this student. I should go back to qns 1, and see where i can deduct more marks. I make sure you die, student." (And i hope the marker is not bald or have hair problems X_X) Oh ya, back to the dying strategies. After the paper, (right now) Im still thinking how to tell my mom, "erm, maybe i wont be able to make it this round." But, its chinese new year leh. She's not letting me sleep long enough. She woke me up in the morning ( i slept about 5 hours), and said she wanted me to help her do chores. (Just now i did some already) My mom on the contrary, will always get upset, worried and panick during chinese new year. Isnt it supposed to be a "festive season", where you should be actually be joyful or enjoy? She always scold people during this time de. So today i will be better on my guard and try to be a nice person (though its kinda hard). So, since if i cant pluck up the courage to tell her, and i have been such a letdown, then maybe the only way will be to escape!

Some ways to die:

1. Bang the head against the wall till the head bleeds and die from blood cot and blood loss or something like that.

2. Drink something that is not drinkable like, Dynamo (for washing clothes), Jif (for washing dishes and stove or oily places), Shokobutsu (body bath foam), Pantene (shampoo), Garnier face cleanser,

3. Walk to a road, and run to the middle of the road when you see a incoming car. And stay right there!

4. Walks to the opposite block of my house, which is 28 storeys high. Choose a favourite number (from maybe 5 floors onwards to 28) and jump from that floor.

5. Find a knife that is sharp enough, and stab it right into the stomach, slit the wrist, or the neck.

6. Bite the tongue!

7. Make my mom angry and die by the chopper.

Yea, thats some of the ways that i have thought of.

This pic looks like me or not ar? XD

Advent saw this pic on his friend's msn and said, "LEEN! I found something that looks like you!"

And his friend kindly sent me the link for making this doll ^^ The website is:

http://elouai.com/doll-makers/new-dollmaker.php

Very cute de! You can choose face shape, eyes, mouth, nose, hairstyle, clothes, and the background :D

And i made the followings:

And on Valentine's day hor, i saw my brother bringing back alot of chocolates and sweets stuff. Then i saw this very cute thingy.

So cute and funny! xDxD

Its soft fruit gum, with prints of piggy. I mean you can also feel the shape de. xD

And.. yesterday went to Toa Payoh and trimmed my hair. It's my first time getting a haircut from a guy. Coz its chinese new year soon, so they raised the price by $3. Their haircut is not bad! Quite good :D But i think the the lady cut de is more skilled. So i have gotten my haircut, :D and reduced some portions of my mom's naggings, for telling me off to get a haircut.

After that, sweety they all needed one more person to dine at the Sakae Sushi for the buffet. So i was asked along :D My mom didnt want me to go out, she wanted to go out too, and she said that she's afraid that the mandarin oranges will go bad when the house is completely close -.-" So, i waited for her to come back and joined sweety they all at about 4.30pm. OMG! Like i didnt eat enough you know. The buffet thingy ends at 6pm. Then when i reached there and joce clicked alot of orders for me, but all never come -.-" not a single plate of sushi that i ordered. But i ate some other stuff hmm.. but $15, for those, Im at the losing end hor :(

Then we went to PS, and we played the pianos. xD I played the front part of the wedding march and recorded inside one of those keyboards LOL!

Then we all headed to esplanade, joined some of theirs friends, and "drank" Vodka raspberry flavoured (share with sweety). And didnt join them for the game coz i was wearing skirt dont want to sit on the floor X_X. So me and sweety borrowed the ipod from jocelyn and watched scary movie for a lil awhile. Then sweety and me headed home at around 11.30pm. And can't find the MRT station! LOL! Asked 3 groups of passerbys, then we finally found it. ><"

Went home late and sweety and me got scoldings from mama :(

her: "You chee bye"

me: "On the train reaching le"

her: "On the train reaching home?! You chee bye, I make sure you die when you come back home and strip you naked"

-.-

P/S: You think she will do that? LOL!

2007-02-09T16:33:00.000+08:00

Im still down with flu. =( And so "paiseh" to blow my nose "da da fang fang" in the class. xD Till after one hour during the paper, i wanted to go toilet and blow my nose all out. Damn shiok! WHAHAHA! xD

Dont know if i can make it through for the paper =( it looks tough to me and i really dont know what im writing. Though mom have made me drink the bottle of chicken essence (at first i didnt want to drink coz i scare my nose will bleed), i still feel sleepy during the paper. XD Oh my god, first time like that X_X.

After the paper, felt kinda freed but worried =(. Really wonder how well i will do. I really hope i can pass, on the account that i didnt really play for so long. X_X And, after the paper (^_^) went shopping with sweety and finally bought a pair of new shoes. My feet is like hobbits'feet, so its very hard for me to find a pair of shoes that can actually fit me. Then sweety saw this shop and we looked and i think the prices are pretty reasonable, and what amazed me is that the shoes there are really big! So, thats how i got my new shoes xDxD. Quite nice and suit my new year clothes outfit. xD So i dont have to worry about buying shoes already (for now). YAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

<(^(OO)^)>

2007-02-08T13:51:00.000+08:00

Actually i wrote paragraphs of words yesterday.When i clicked on "Publish", then ><" blogger didnt make it through for me. Woke up at 3pm yesterday and my mom was still $#^#^ about that day, about me prioritising washing my water bottle, and then washing her dirty cloth.

Ok, i dont know why she has to $##^# about that for that like for days. Then im sick, i was terribly sick that day like almost dying already ><". And the fever was so high, like for the whole entire day, despite me drinking tonnes of water.

Plus.. the neighbours, the aunty is so noisy everyday! And, shuang jian he bi, together with the cries and screams of the baby ><", its so disturbing!!!

XD but im kinda happy when... (evil grin)
The aunty came out and grumbled loudly about something, that is obviously inferring about that neighbour next door of hers. Then that neighbour came out shortly after that. Then said something like so noisy and always making so much noise. XD The aunty actually became quieter, (but still noisy la), X_x" maybe she agreed with what that neighbour say about her too, but the aunty loves to act cute alot huh xD

X_X She's getting ALL my attention. Noise factor: Her and the baby.

--

And people has been wanting me to be dead fast, move out fast, and ><" ya do so many things.

Im feeling very pissed off most of the time especially this week, and still feeling unwell. Cant even taste food! But I'd better calm down or else i get another high fever again -.-"

--

Oh yea, maybe my mom can go and shoot the movie, "The Grudge", since she has so many grudges against me :(

2007-02-06T13:06:00.000+08:00

Grr.. Have been coughing quite badly yesterday, especially when sleeping at night. So itchy inside the throat :(

And today woke up with sore throat ><", and my whole body is starting to ache all over.

Maybe the virus is floating around the house. Since one of my brothers has been sick for days, and my mom is complaining she has this and that.

T.T Nooo i dont want to get sick too.

2007-02-05T21:03:00.000+08:00

Yay!! Just now my kor came back with my mp3 fixed, and know what they gave me?!

New earphones, pouch, cable, and alot of wires, LOL!

They have changed the harddisk drive xD. And still give so many things, very generous hor? xD

So happy now ^^

My mp3 player is back! Wee!!! ^^

2007-02-05T12:47:00.000+08:00

Today overheard a conversation between the hairdresser and my mom, they were talking in hokkien about kids nowadays. They said that kids are getting smarter and smarter, like they know how/what to retaliate when they are being given a hard question. But most of that response seems to me, like more of a rebel would answer. Not saying that I'm smarter than them or whatever, but IF, i were to respond like those kids when i was small, my mom would have given me a tight slap, or have given me a "cha kueh tiao" when i get home. I was being called an idiot in the past, lol i dont know why, but it's somehow contradicting. So, what does those parents(erm, well i mean my mom) actually want?! So i'd rather keep my mouth shut, than getting a tight slap for being too honest, when i was a small kid. They even thought i was a mute! Or rather audistic..

P/S: Yea, i do agree kids are getting smarter these days. But they're illustrating it in the wrong way. Giving rebellious response doesnt mean that they are smarter or whatever. I can do it better than them! xD

---

Then the baby next door is also "rebellious" in a way. And the grandma, was hitting her or scolding her or something. Then my mom seems to be very worked up when she talked about it, and she said, "How can she hit the baby?!"

Then i thought to myself, "But would she think the same if the baby was me?"

I asked her if she had ever hit me when i was a baby. This is what she said, "I didnt even have a chance to hit you when you're a baby! You were so quiet and inactive."

Hmm so is that supposed to be good or? Like being inactive is a bad thing.. but not being hit as a baby is a good thing i guess.

2007-02-04T17:24:00.000+08:00

Distracted + Bored + Kinda pissed off (got a scolding for sleeping late)

So i drew this with paint. The colors are not exact though. But almost there. XD Im going to wear this on cny.

Plus this skirt. This is the one that costs only $20 with a belt, and the quality is good.

2007-02-04T15:00:00.000+08:00

Arrr!!!!

So distracting!

Look at the pic above. Imagine you're the one sitting at the desk. (situated in the middle of the living room, where everyone walks to and fro) Grrr..

T.T

2007-02-03T15:07:00.000+08:00

Bro has sent my Zen Neon for repair le. They say that the hard disk spoilt, so i guess they're going to give me a new one :D It's going to 3 working days before i can get it back.

And now im trying to study, im seated in the living room. As there's no room of my own, the only place i can study is the living room. (Not that my house doesnt have enough rooms, but 1 one them is taken up by the old bitch, the master bedroom), so imagine 3 rooms in total, one taken up by her, one taken up by one bro, and the rest to squeeze in another room /hmm

My mom is walking to and fro, in the house. I guess she's going out to buy something. This is very very very very distracting, as i can get easily annoyed if someone try shouting for no reason(like my neighbour), and seeing someone infront of me, makes it more distracting. To meditate must be alone ma XD

2007-02-02T23:37:00.000+08:00

Went shopping with sweety today hehe xD

I've bought:
- 2 skirts : one is brown skirt, another one is jeans skirt (but got pattern de)
- 1/2 length pants (dirty green, abit of furyy texture)
- 1 top (its like a white color shirt inside, then outside is like got spaghetti strip, in black and white stripes, behind got opening de XD)
- 1 belt ( quite nicely designed xD)

All just at the costs of $96!

><" im so bored.

2007-02-01T20:38:00.000+08:00

Evileen wants to be listened to, to talk to, to bitch to.

Seems that the whole world is too busy for her.

Thy shall be alone.

2007-01-30T17:57:00.000+08:00

lol 2nd post for the day, I did go to school. Reached at about 4pm. And then i went to find my friend celissa, and then i told her i didnt study at all. And she was saying that i shouldn't have come to school. LOL. Then i was so tempted not to go for the retest since she said i shouldn't go. Coz the teacher might take the current marks and that going for the retest might be a losing end for me. So.. Yea I went home.

Before i got to school. My brother wanted to send my mom for checkup. And then i was thinking if he could send me to the MRT station which is nearby my house (for a car, it is fast, but i were to walk, i will be half dead by then) So he actually went to the wrong route. And dropped me at a bus stop instead. He was #@$&#%& at me. I didnt say i want a lift (though i really really need it, :( its so far away from my house) After i got out of the car, and went to library to find my friend. He sent me a msg, to scold me again. Everytime i get a free lift from my brother, i will get a scolding from him. So, I guess i shouldnt sit in his car anymore. (-_-")

Right in the car, he was #@#%$ at me. Then my mom was seated infront. She was scolding him for scolding me, and told him off, "What would you feel if you were her?" And i just kept quiet behind. Like, I thought it would be nice to have a lift to a nearby place. I mean its not really that difficult/far to drop me at that MRT station. My father used to drop us there in the past when me and brother was going to school. I wished i didnt step in the car in the beginning for today. So, maybe i wont ever again. -_-

I could have been thinking too much these days. I actually thought sweety was ignoring me. LOL. I spammed her phone but she replied only at a very much later time. But im glad that she replied, i was thinking what's happening to her and i was thinking if she was trying to ignore me even (having all the possibilities on my mind)

--

Sometimes i wish i could silence the people next door. The aunty, her son, the baby = NOISE POLUTION!

Its making me more and more hot tempered, because hearing crowds or noises like this made me get headaches every now and then. And plus my mom was nagging, sometimes i wish that i could have a button maybe? Like there's a switch beside it just like how the switches are being placed in your room, like just beside the door. Yea, i wish there are switches beside my ears (invisible ones) where i can actually on/off noise, and filter it like maybe Internet Explorer, and maybe get an "Ear Defender", only hear the good words/sounds.

Every single day!! Every single day, the baby cries and all, but i can't really blame the baby, but my mom said i was a quiet baby, she didnt even had a chance to slap me when i was a baby, she even thought i was a mute, or maybe audistic until maybe near 4 then i started talking. XD The baby is not the only contributing factor to the noise pollution. ><" I think her grandma is noisier than her. Like as if its a big deal to have a baby in the house, so what if you have a baby?! xD

And, my mom loves to complain about the neighbour. But sometimes when she's complaining to me, i think its quite funny, or a lil cute. Like how she described the scenario, plus the talkings. One example is: She was trying to open the door, wanting to clean the corridor, and then (like what she said) "the kiapo one" (busybody) immediately opened the door when she heard my mom opening the door. So my mom quickly close the door, so the neighbour who immediately opened the door when she opened, wouldnt have a chance to ask her anything.

And my mom came up with a list of possible questions that the neighbour might ask:
Your son bought a car?...Your son working?...Daughter working already?...Where did you go yesterday?....etc

Then the neighbour even asked about me! -.- I was told by my mom that the neighbour saw me in formal wear(have to wear it for school presentations), and she asked my mom, "So eileen is working now already?"

Like imagine everyday, you're going out, there's someone at the window watching you. Every movement, the clothes you wear, the things you're carrying. Everything she wants to know. Stalker!!! ARR!!!

Then this morning my mom was complaining about my brother. Saying that he's busybody, wanting to fetch her to like everywhere, and wants to touch the godess status that she just bought. ><" (ok for that thing, we took like maybe 30mins, just to tie the box, coz ><" she's not happy with the tie) And i was really annoyed with that thing, she gave me cold stare for helping her, and then i dont really know what she wants actually.
(Note: You need to have high EQ to be her daughter/son, she doesnt name what she wants, she will give you cold stare, and fierce looks if you still hadnt have the idea what she wants. So you have to take very very very close observation. For instance, like if she lift her finger. And then pointing at the windows, mean yea you have to open/close it. If she say she wants something, she will really say "something" she wont name it, you have to guess what is the something, and then bring it to her.)

Then, there's one part, i started to get annoyed with what she's saying, plus all the noises from next door.
her: You know your bro, im sure he will bring it down, and the hands of the god is so delicate i scare he will break it. And i think you're using too much force to carry it, if it breaks im gonna kill you.
me: Huh? but i didnt really that much force, if i didnt use any force at all, then the thing will drop! and I dont think he will actually be so busybody. to climb up and take that down and just to look at it?!
her: why not? Dont you know he's a busybody? He wants to know everything.
me: Well, im not really into gods stuff. I guess he wont really be that interested as in so curious about it. (i dont hate god, i believe in them. But my brother is still young, and i dont think people at our age will be totally curious in god yet. Normally only old people starts to get spiritual - everything is about god.)
her: *getting worked up* #%&#%&#%#&%& HOW CAN YOU NOT BELIEVE IN IT? WITHOUT GOD THERE'S NO YOU!
*Bashing me up* lol
me: so why tell me all these? Its not like "busybody" is a disease, and not that im a doctor who can heal it or cure it.
her: *giggling* If there's a cure for it.. then can you heal the person next door first please?

Sometimes i do get evil. Like in the morning i was watching a video on youtube, my friends say that seems like a bitch and i wanted to comment on it, a bad one. -_- then it prompt me to give my email address. I just want to be evil as an anonymous XD. Why cant they let me??

Enough of my crapping. Thats all for the day. XD

finally

2007-01-30T11:29:00.000+08:00

Yay! I've finally finished all my presentations for school! For the IBS bit, i didn't really prepare much, so I guess I'm already contented with a B-. Partly because i had already presented like almost everything the previous time, and this time i brought the same stuff for yesterday's presentation, so its nothing new or special for the tutor. Just a few new ppt slides thats all.

Feel very "sian" recently. I haven't even finished shopping for my new year clothes!! Time flies. Wonder when i can find the time to shop. ><" Actually my mom wants me to shop today, but i have to go to school for ECD retest though its only short of 2 marks for the whole weightage for the test, but i guess i should give it a try.

I wonder what i will do after i graduate from poly. Hadn't really thought of it yet. Maybe i should go and work and get a degree or something? ><" But i'm sure given my family financial status, I can't really further my studies now :( plus my rotten results.

And yesterday was wondering what happened to wy last night. Me and siti was quite worried for her. Wy didnt reply my msg or answer the phone when siti tried to call her. And this morning.. It turns out to be she's sleeping!(She msg me this morning) LOL! And now, why she didnt reply again. Is she sleeping again? o.O

Im sooo tempted not to go to school. Everyone doesn't have to go to school today. And i have to go back for the stupid ECD retest. Should i go or should i not? /hmm

2007-01-27T16:01:00.000+08:00

Took part for napfa with wanyu, jiexuan, angelia and jocelyn. Me, wanyu and jiexuan has already intended to fail the napfa before even starting. I got the worst score of them all, didnt really care about what i have scored, but we ran for about 3 rounds on the track for 2.4km run, and we dropped out.

Cant help to feel that something is amiss recently. Everything seems unreal, or is it i have been thinking too much? This has always been happening to me. Informing me only after i learnt of it. Next time can everyone inform me about something first before i get to know the truth myself? Thanks. I dont wish to have the feeling to be kept always in the dark.

Im Back!!

2007-01-18T13:37:00.000+08:00

Yay! Evileen is back to blogging. Has been lazing for so long huh?

I have no idea what happened to the previous tagboard. The userid was found to be invalid. Maybe they doesnt like the speech in there? lol

The last semester of school is going to end soon. Time really flies, just like in a twitch of an eye, and you see exams are around the corner :(

Yesterday is history. Today is present. The future is a mystery.
But things that already took place seem as if it just took place a moment ago. For many times i was having a mixed of feelings; anger, sadness, happiness, confusion, suspicion, and fear.

Yesterday was kinda funny. I sat in the car my brother was driving. He kept peeking at my expression. And here goes the conversation (though its not exact words) :

---
him: Are you scared?

me: Yea.. Very. :S

him: Why??

me: I dont know.. Just scared?

him: Why are you scared? Can you give me some feedback please for my driving skills? It rocks ok.

me: *paused*

me: Err.....Hey.. We're on the road, you're driving. :S:S

---

Sometimes, yea i feel creeps when my brother was driving. Like it can just stop so suddenly. If it werent in time.. then lol.. i might not be here typing. Seeing him drive were as if im driving a go-kart in escape theme park. :( If anyone doesnt know what happened to me on that go-kart, I crashed at the downturn :( ( The slope was very very very steep ok.. Then the road wants you to turn to your utmost right like so instantly)

And, now i realise why is that i always get last in position with my friend in Daytona. My car in the game doesnt even move. Thats because i always have a bad habit of stepping on both the accelerator and the brake pedals. (Left leg on brake, Right leg on accelerator, stepping on them at the same time.)

So the moral behind these stories, is err, never touch a car for i will be accounted for the death of many innocent. :(

---

And for the sad part.. I was feeling down. Especially to what happened to my cousins' family. They have to lie to their grandma who was dying that their mom was on a oversea trip. ( Did that make the mother think that the daughter is enjoying herself, like when she's dying? Will she feel sad?) It was a white lie. A white lie that could save her from tears for a short while. Their mom had to go for a surgery. How would a dying mother feel when you know that your child is having a bad time?

I was so freaked out when my brother told me about the part they have taken out. They even cut it into halves? X_x That's even gross. And they took pictures of it.. and yea.. i guess it was bloody, very. I went to visit her, and i was feeling so sorry for her, and with another someone. What can i do? I dont know what should i do to help. Their mom wanted to show me the pictures X_x but i think it was kinda rude of me of rejecting it. Although i can accept horror movies and gross scenes in movies. But i cant accept things like this that are happening in a real world.

Have you ever wondered, if anything that has ocurred is it for real or what? Sometimes its too bad/good to be true, that you cant even bring yourself to believe it? Will the feelings be the same if you experienced it yourself, or just by hearing it? Maybe some will think that what you're always saying is always a joke to them. How would you feel when someone said "haha" if you're saying something that is very depressing (maybe a person's death)? Or, they dont even bother about what you're saying. How would you feel?

---

Wonders of life: The tale of ABC

It's story-telling time!

A has a bunch of good friends. She likes to be around with them. Always making her feeling blessed to have them as friends. But still, the ones that were found to be closest to her is B and C. (Haha! Coz you see how the alphabetical order goes, its A.. then B then followed by C ma)

"ABC tiger beer" always hangout together, they're always together. They shit, they eat, they play together. (Cool huh?)

But things started to change. ( i mean yea really alot ya) Like how the way C answers to A's questions. And when C asks A's questions, C doesnt really like A's answers. B also have the same answers as A, but C dont like it. So she complained to D, that B and C was ignoring her questions.(A didnt know it till a long time after)

1st incident:-
A: Someone died
C: haha
A: =.="
C: Oh.. is real? Sorry sorry.

2nd incident:-
A: T.T Crying now
C: ^.^
A: T.T why so happy
C: Coz i like it, cry more kays?
A: Why??
C: Coz you're crying
A: ... Are you kidding? Fine.
C: ^_^
*silence*
C: Sorry sorry.

3rd incident:-
A: Im feeling so sad.
C: Im busy now ok. Im doing something.
A: Oh.. ok..
A: *mumbling about her sadness* (for a long period)
*Mr C comes into the scene, talking to A*
C to MR C: HONEY!
A: ...
A: Werent you.. busy? But Im sad.. like no one is listening to me..
*going off from the scene*
(after a long while)
C to A: Hey, im not ignoring you. I was just busy ok?

(So if you were A, would you want talk to C? No right? Yea, so A was cold to C till the following night. They started talking already like as usual.)

(at 1am that very night when things were already working out well)
MR C: Oh well.. my hun is sad..
A: Whys that?
MR C: Well you havent forgiven her, have you? She said she's sad coz you havent forgiven her.
A: Eh? Forgive..?
MR C: Ya.. I guess she's really feeling very sad now from the way she said it
-
A: I have heard from MR C.. about that.. (thinking that she must be really sorry even though things were already fine)
C: Im going off now.
A: Oh.. cya..
C: I dont know how to face you.
*logs off*
-
The next day..

B: Hey C gave me a msg last night like in the morning 1am. She asked me to reply her asap, for advice, and she said you're really very angry.
A: Eh? But i thought things are already fine? Im talking to her!
B: Well i dont know..
-
A: So what did C tell you?
MR C: Erm.. she didnt talk to you coz she didnt hear it
A:...
-
A: I guessed she must have talked to you about something.
MR A: Yup
A: So.. what did she say?
MR A: She said when her honey came she wasnt busy anymore. So she talked to him.
A: -_-"
-

A wasnt angry anymore. But like after hearing these ridiculous stuff. The thermometer in her is going to break. Coz it has hit above 100 degrees celsius. You know those fake leatherbags. Yea they use fake materials to cover it up. And it looks so convincing.. so real.. people will buy it. Just like C's stories. But they aint real anyway.

-

(A with MR AA)
C: Bored.
B: Whys that?
C: Dont disturb you both.
A: Join us.
C: Okays.
(after C joined A with her MR AA)

-

C: If only.. everything can start anew just like a new day. Where all the past will be forgotten, and i can be forgiven of my past.
(*kept saying this till A very -_-"*)
MR AA: Well.. what past have you got? Why do you ask to be forgiven? There's none, right?
C: Thats a relief to hear that from MR AA.. well A..I got it.
(well A doesnt know how to make it clear to C that there's really nothing wrong so A confronted C)

*after a few hours, things are fine again*

4th incident:-
*A was together with MR AA, MR A, and C*

(seeing C sitting so close to MR A)
A: Do you have to sit that close to her?
MR A: No. It wasn't me who wants to sit close.
(Mr A moving away from C and sits close to A.)
(C moves at the same time, and move close to MR A again.)
A: OMG.
MR A: She's the one trying to get close to me!!
( and it repeats again for a few times)
-
The next day MR A told A..
MR A: She told me you would be angry when she's sitting close to me.
"I can feel C's anger towards me. Right now im sitting close to you."
A: ...So why does she sit near u still? ><"

***

IF anyone of you think that im having weird msn nicks of some sort.. Just look at the ABC story here. Ok.. its for the C. Dont keep asking who is C ok. It can be imaginary. It can also be real. And C will know what she's doing. And A knows what C is trying to do ok. C dont assume that A dont know anything. And C stop asking everyone if the A doesnt like you or whatever. If you think A dont like you, then means dont like lor. Then you must have done something wrong that make her think that way right? And stop trying to get close to MR A, for goodness sake. Thanks.

If you feel any guilt, or if you think the C in the story sounds like you, then you're C lor. Its not my fault. Im not mentioning any names here. And, i didnt force anyone to read this. Apart from that, this is my blog. I can write whatever things i like. So have no critics or whatever. Because it will only be your own problem, and not mine. Please understand that. :D

2006-05-30T23:51:00.000+08:00

Has been some time since i last blogged in here. Many things happened..but i dont really show it on my face.

Common tests are comings.. kinda scared..I wanna score AD for RFA xD

Heard kor might be having operation on his back, but its up to him. o.O sounds scary to me.

Trying to learn guitar and focus more on piano..Looking at some people who tried to play piano on youtube.com, lol somehow i feel that im better than them xD on the same piece. So yea.. this is the only thing that cheers me up..and trying to learn my first guitar piece, "guan huai fang shi". =) Sent kor the music scores and programs ><" but im lazy to download, =( but he's so selfish! Dont even let me see.. =(

Almost all the bad things have already happened to me, but glad that i have nice friends in school, and a long distant friend asking me X_X am i wrapping "ba zhang" (dumplings).

Bad things like people whom you really treasured in the past, thinks that you're bullshit, =) totally cast you aside.. and not more contact again...being the "maid" at home..(like you have folded a pile of clothes.. and you see them everyday piled up on the bed, folding them again and again everyday, of coz there's a 'mastermind' to this).. dad's mom is at it again, each time getting serious.. police =) visits us like damn often but oh well what can they do? So ill see.. attending court on the last day of common test.. hates to rush.

And now, i feel just like a newborn baby, so new to everything, but with a stronger determination to have something done. Nothing much to blog.. wonder when will be the next time =x

2006-01-21T19:57:00.000+08:00

Im thinking of cancelling my phoneline.. i dont use it often anyway.. Just a few lame msg from ppl a month. erm.. if i cancel and get a new card, maybe i can save some money..

Or maybe i should just live with my "expenses". Keep it >.<"

Arr...=( I wanna work! So many agents called me suddenly recently X_X

Nothing to do.. not busy with anything and err dont like to stay at home because of my mom's nonsense. Like what my bro said, "She's in her late 40s and yet her thinking is like a 7 yr old." I have no idea why my family is all so weird X_X Why their thinking is like this..

Thinking of staying away from home till 9pm or something. Go home just for a sleep. XD

Or maybe i have think too much again..

Looking forward to the "zoo day"..

"I wanna go to the zoo zoo ZOO!!~"

($_$)

2006-01-20T20:19:00.000+08:00

Nowadays some people seems to be really kind and helpful.

Scenario 1:
As I was walking towards the Lecture Theatre, and wasnt sure where the talk was actually held, with my classmates behind me, ><" i supposed they are just behind me.."Where is the lecture theatre ar?" A guy answered, "20". o.O (whom i dont know /hmm)

Scenario 2:
No toilet paper in one of the cubicle ( the small toilet has only ><" two cubicles )
Someone entered and said, "Oh! I have tissue paper! Want?" @_@ We asked her to go first XD, and she went out and said, "^_^ i have left the pack of tissue paper there for you all to use."

Kind huh?

-----

XD Wasnt sure which to buy, the $49 pants? or $26.90 skirt =x

So i actually did a survey..

"YES! you should buy the skirt! So later you will think that you will need the pants too! and buy both XD"

"You should buy skirt."

"Why buy pants? That goes best with skirt!" (by kor)

-----

So i was thinking.. Hmm budget budget budget..

Overspent my $120 dont know for what XD lazy to count.

My mind was kinda telling me this everyday,
" dont be stupid la."

"SKIRT!"

"What are you waiting for???"

Well.. i was thinking if i could wait till next week.. and buy X_X but then.. perhaps im not going to be free or the place will be flooded with people? grrr....

So i actually bought the skirt la! XD

Done shopping X_X.

-----

If you want something.. dont ever wait.. GO for it! XD
"Quoted by evileen"

2006-01-16T14:44:00.000+08:00

It has been quite a while since i've seriously blogged. Certain things are meant to be kept to oneself and inappropriate to tell others what you arent very pleased with.

Ever wonder how's complicated my family is? It's more complex than those in dramas, i tell you.

Mom's breaking loose...again.. telling people that she's going to suicide. Creating havocs over trivial matters, making mountains out of a molehill.

Well, no one has the time to shop with me, and i had to do the shopping alone once more. But yesterday brother asked me to go queensway with him, so we did shopping together. =)

Just shoes and that pant that i want will make the set complete.

Every single day seems to be a torment for me. My mom is right now, mentally unstable. I'm not sure it's really true,but i hope i'm wrong about that.

Just a couple of black tees can boil her blood, nagging at you for always. Luckily, my brother kept his well, i doubt she knows about them.(he has got more ><"""")

We were outside yesterday and aunt kept calling, and asked what exactly happened recently. Apparently, nothing's really went wrong. She said that my elder brother, whom im ignoring currently was going to call the police ><". And then i saw the msg, "She's making alot of noise,Im going back to NTU now, you'd come back soon."

---

I'm somehow "stressed" now. She's affecting me. Doesn't want to go home so soon everyday.. But I've so much things to do.. especially with my laptop.. ><"

I fell down from the start of the bridge ><" with state of unconsciousness. I can't even think well now. For those people who was/is out to spoil my day, or to make me unhappy, i've no time for those craps, because i dont care at all.

Going to night safari one day.. a free ticket from the CEO's son...my bro's friend.. =) Maybe that's the only thing i look forward to.. I need a break.

2006-01-11T21:26:00.000+08:00

Please click on the image below to play the game im playing XD.

2006-01-10T17:55:00.000+08:00

As i was gaming in one usa server.. my friend was telling me this,"Im worried about the earth."

And that was how i feel like reading it out..

And i could remember vaguely, that my colleague has called someone for a survey and the person told him, " Im sorry.. time is really running out.. The world is going to end in the year 2012."

------

Was that person kidding?

I found a website that contained this:

(an extract from http://www.life-cycles-destiny.com/pg/maya-egypt-history-calendar.htm)

"In the year 2012, the earth awaits a super catastrophe: its magnetic field will turn over in one go. Phenomenal earthquakes and tidal waves will completely destroy our civilization. Europe and North America will shift thousands of miles northwards and will get a polar climate. Nearly the whole earth's population will perish in the apocalyptical happenings."

2006-01-09T22:51:00.000+08:00

XD back to blogging..

Updates of recent happenings:

-2nd Brother still owing me $120 (excluding $3100)

-Mother's sotter everyday X_X nv seem to have peace at home, nv (im having doubt if she has depression or something, because she has been talking to herself, and talking non-stop, and complaining how unfair the world is to her)

-Sweeps the house as usual everyday.

-Plays RO private servers as usual

-Advent scolded X_X aku, aku was angry with advent and we quarrelled XD and BOOM!!! XDXD ..and promised not to enter the server again, but "papa" apologized in a "unique" way, and aku XD has forgiven "papa". And happy ever after XD disturbing people in ROs.

-1st Brother was astrocious, and he did things overboard, making my blood boiled as usual, i regretted talking to him few years back, and now history has repeated itseld =). We arent talking to each other ever again. Need a timer?

-Hasnt seen one of my best friends online till now (has been for months), but her last login in friendster was 2 days apart. So means.. she was online ><" /omg I've been blocked in msn... again, for whatever REASONS ><" that i dont know , again.

-Stays at home as usual

-Pays my bills as usual XD

-Eat as usual XD

-Sleeps as usual

------
Today's paper has brought one question to my mind. Are the setters thinking right? Even if students find them loathesome, or anyway you put it, they shouldn't set papers that is way so hard to get back at all the students. Merciful enough, they have lengthen the time by 15 minutes. XD or i will be cursing or swearing like hell.

Not much to blog recently, or rather dont have the blogging mood XD.

If anyone has noticed.. under "Them" on the left hand side of this box, click on it and you will see, my piggy named "xiaozhuzhu", please feel free to feed him and give him a wash, or click on him 3 times, to play with him =P

...Time to slack more XD.

2005-12-27T20:35:00.000+08:00

I just dont understand why their days are numbered and they still behave like idiots.. ARGH! So annoyed.

2005-12-25T17:01:00.000+08:00

So sick Zzz.. dont know run to the toilet how many times (-.-")

Sometimes feel like vomitting too.. but the Evil always force me to eat and eat and eat and eat. Zzzz... Or else, it will turn out to be a matter of life and death. if i eat, maybe wont die so soon. dont eat, really>> die.

Everyday scold cheebye cheebye.. not sian i also sian. When i become sick, they will ask me to die faster, dont be a burden to them. IF only i can choose to, i dont even wanna exist on this world at all.

Zzzz..

2005-12-24T13:10:00.000+08:00

Dont know why these days i keep contradicting myself..

Feels like vommitting very often.. but the stomach somehow feels hungry.. Was asked to go out.. i said dont want.. but inside is want.. lol.. nvm later going out =)

Saw this movie yesterday..feeling damn tired.. but i still stayed up and watched till the end.. although i only managed to catch the "Tail"..but i feel so aww~ and sad when the couples get together and how they parted..and how their son and daughter become a couple like them..

So damn happie.. when i managed to get the songs.. so i uploaded it here =)

Up to now.. I havent touch anything for the tests at all.. almost everyday no mood to study.. kinda tired and pissed off by the usual things that happened in my everyday life.

Feeling sad..

2005-12-21T11:35:00.000+08:00

This morning i heard.. baby crying like nobody's business. And the sounds of hoaxing the baby. And my mom happened to walk past their house and saw the baby.. she was so "high" again..speaking "baby-language" to the baby.

And said to her grandmama(in hokkien i think), "Awww...can understand me huh..? ^^ Gai gai..? Can understand whahahaha.. Wah.. means can hit her already */gg*.. "

Neighbour replied, "Huh? No la.. baby is like that.. there should be no reason to hit her."

My mom added, "I.. just like to hit babies."

And erm.. i was thinking, " I must have suffered alot when i was a baby till now."

And same goes for the evil baboon and 2nd kor.

---

Didnt know today's supposed to have a xmas "LUNCH?" with the class.. thought it's supposed to be a dinner. And was planning to go out in the late evening to get the present? X_X But it's like... almost soon.. and mom and bro is not back yet.. I doubt i will be going.. Im sorry everyone to "affect" the chain. Sorry..

2005-12-19T21:15:00.000+08:00

Today went to school for the make-up tutorial. X_X Didnt manage to learn or catch anything though.

But.. */gg* Got some small gifts for today.. kekeke

free biscuit from audit tutor, candy cane with sweet handwritten card from ningning, a nicely wrapped present from lijia, and sweets to sweeten your heart from BearLydia =P

Especially ningning de, like it very much:

The front view

back view =P

Thank jiajia ningning diadia for the presents kekeke..ningning/gg got your present sure smile de wakaka XD

2005-12-18T14:16:00.000+08:00

Today seems weird. Mom asked me to change into the skirts that me and my friend bought. LOL? Weird that she said this, "Aiya.. youngsters' skirts.. all so now ma =x"

(-_-") And what she told me the other day. lol.. Yesterday was so coincidental, was out to buy my lunch and saw jes.. who asked me out before that to have lunch with her, (sorry sorry X_X i always nv see my hp now for some reasons: no one look for me, plus i dont like ppl to look for me when there is something for me to do for them.)

Hur hur hur.. going to shop for my stuff(jeans, shoes, bla bla i think?) soon..alone. Bro kept asking me almost everyday, "hey going shopping later?" Waiting for him to return $100 first.. X_X Although i have money to shop.. But owed me for over 2 weeks le.. kekeke.. Nvm.. shouldnt stress him.. Im kind wakakakakka. ><" Scare later the NTU ppl havent pay him for his namecards.. then big kor is the president.. Scare they quarrel and get me involved again..

When it comes to money matter.. ppl tend to quarrel. So =x i wont press him for the money first. Aww~ i know im kind!! whahah!!

2005-12-16T20:03:00.000+08:00

Have you ever get sick of life... till the stage..you think of death even in your dreams..?

Yea.. I kept dreaming that I was dead. Not just once or a couple of times, but many.

Why do I exist in this world?

Getting bored each and everyday.

Common tests coming.. but i still dont have the "exam mood".

2005-12-13T22:42:00.000+08:00

Evileen Resurrected!

Had been perspiring profusingly for these days the weather is just soooooooo HOT!

Just like in Romeo & Juliet. Shakespeare said that hot weather makes the blood boils =x. So.. Im the Tybalt now. Wakakaka.. Evil evil..

Erm, let's observe the people on the bus. Now, I finally understood why youngsters always choose to sit at the back. Because..THEY ARE CLEVER!! OH MY GOD?! The young ones are getting smarter T_T

Look at those front seats. And look at those ah peks. They always sit at some "specific" area rite? XD And what they do on the bus to "kill time" will be err.. digging nose..digging ear...digging whatever -.- and.. err.. pluck nostrils hair?! YUCKS! Imagine those ah peks.. get up and down the bus.. they need to grab hold of something right? BINGO! The handles!! Imagine everyone uses it.. and they dirty their hands just like that.. *sigh* What I would suggest is.. Put signboards or notices on the bus or fine whoever who is digging the nose. /gg So there won't be err.. "dirts" around.

-----

Erm.. Getting tired/sick/whatever-you called-it these days. Settled the "namecards" thingy for the brothers and err yea.. the evil baboon has finally returned to his "nest/zoo"

There's one thing i dont understand. Why is there people who just laze around?! Dont they find themselves.. good-for-nothings? XD Get very fed up.. but just kept quiet when mama ask me to get things for her which is just a few steps away from her and MILES AWAY from me XD, and father asking me to switch off the tv when im busy with some "work", mother asking me to fold the clothes.. do this do that.. almost everyday.. She complains she's tired all the time.. Hmm.. Maybe i should teach them how to ><" use the remote someday.. Give them "special tutorials". Seriously, they need some lessons. Even for teletext, i was watching something at the climax already, then they press something, and then -.- tv swithed off. Dont know to laugh or to cry..

----

Mother and 2nd brother have been doing stunts to show me recently. While sitting on the dining table, drinking some "soup", my mom suddenly asked me,(in mandarin)"HEY LOOK! See my tongue! * stretches her tongue out* Long eh?? ^_^ Look again!! *trying to use her tongue to reach her nose in the utmost effort* Amazing huh??" And i was in the toilet, suddenly i witnessed the suicide of a bear, falling into a pool of water. SWEAT!! Yea, the "doings" of my mom.

Dont know why..ever since kor has broken up with the gf..he's not been acting himself. His friend helped him to sign up for MTM for the free trial thingy.. he gets facial products.. buy contact lens..changed hairstyle? ( although i dont see any difference ) shop and shop and shop like mad.. Asking me if i wanna join him in the "make-over"..lol. That will be really funny.

Kekeke..going to do MA project.

2005-12-12T23:27:00.000+08:00

what kor said to me the day before, "Huh? Are you sure you are going to stay at home for even weekends?? Wah Lao.. You hor.. REALLY NO LIFE LEH!"

(-_-") BIG BIG SWEAT!!!

But staying at home has its own good =x. Can save money, save energy, AND CATCH nice drama shows. Aww~ Do you know that on Channel U every monday and tuesday @ 7pm, there's this very very very sweet jap drama show that is really really nice!! *drools* Imagine i can almost pour chilli into my drink.. and err keep my eyes stucked on the tv XD okie.. that's far too exaggerating..

The title of the show is .."Last Christmas".

Last christmas.. all the sweet sweet things that happened. And this show is really really nice, like the words they use,

Example:
The guy's ex gf *shakes head* err had this video recorded on her birthday~ And the guy.. had got her bdae cake.. and what?!?! What about the present?!?! Oh.. he looked lost XD and then handed her a note. In the first place, you might be wondering, "huh?? what the hell?? a piece of paper?? $#@#%%@#" But when you see what's on it. You will really, "aww~~~" XD

It's priceless. On the note, it says, "(the guy's name)'s voucher. If you have any problems..I'll always be there for you. No expiry date." Aww~

Okie.. X_X too bored.. so i crapped here.

By Miss Crab =x

2005-12-11T16:40:00.000+08:00

Life is all about living and dying...

Eileen is dead. Don't bother to look for her because she's gone. I will take over her blog. *$%&*$@#%! =)

With regards,

Deviling.

2005-12-09T23:51:00.000+08:00

I'm sorry to those whom I have shouted at or scolded recently. When i get totally pissed off.. I cant really control my emotions now. I even shout at my own mother and eldest brother at times, when they accused me or something that i find it really stupid. Especially this period of time where all our projects have to be due at the same time, I kept thinking that I've contributed very little for all the projects. Maybe this happens all the time, or I'm just sensitive, I strongly feel that groupwork really makes a difference. Reflect on yourself everytime you do a project. Do you really attempted it? And what did you actually know about the project? Sometimes, when you are helpless.. and everyone smiles at you..and do nothing.. Have you ever felt this way before? I dare not deny I'm a slacker, but at least I've tried.

**Note: Nothing happened =D (just some reflections from projects)

To : anonymous

I appreciate the kind advice that you have given me. But, on the other hand, you are somehow contradicting yourself. I dont get the point that you are trying to say that friends around me are all suffering. Do i really make a bad friend? Closest friends having friendship problems?(For your info, I have only one close friend, and we always share our problems frankly.) Able to comfort me as they have been through the same experience? May I know who has comforted me?? And..reflect what's wrong with myself?? Yes, I do that all the time.

Erm who are the people you are referring to as "friends"? I dont really go out at all other than to school. So how the hell I make my "friends" suffer? Reason why im always meditating at home is because of the following reasons:

1. I only go out 3 people in the past.

2. Left only one who is willing to go out with me, but really have tonnes of projects, but no matter what, we still keep in contact.

3. For the 2nd friend, i dont know why she suddenly blocked me in msn for months when nothing actually happened, and i was not very sure what happened, wanting to ask her out, to decrease the "feud", and was always being rejected. But last month she started to talk like a human though not as often.

4. For the last person, she sticks to her honey just like what UHU glues does. I suppose the only place she part from her "laogong" is the loo. (-_-") Goes out very often with her "laogong", but when friends ask her out, she will say, "aiya.. sian.. /tired../no money.."

However, life still goes on right? I didn't care about no.3 and no.4 already. Since going out with me is a chore for them, so why not dont ask at all in the future? Everyone will be happier this way i guess..at least i feel better this way. So isn't this called "opening up" or "facing realityand problems"??

Anonymous, maybe you have misunderstood me.

2005-12-03T15:21:00.000+08:00

Unblocked them le. Kekeke..But i 1000000% bet that it will still be the same *grin*. [ Done by Fortune Poh ]

Weee! I should watch how life will turn out for such people. *grin* [ evil smiles ]

X_X So bored.. So many things to do.. Quizes...Projects..Havent Start! Oh My God!!~

*Still in search of my interest..hmm*

2005-11-30T23:43:00.000+08:00

Closing my laptop lid for a moment.. and up the volume of the songs, and put on my headphones.. I feel so relaxed.. But all the songs played are love songs ><" Dont know how the wmp queue them up so nicely for me erm..how's the feeling of falling in love..?

Feeling quite busy X_X alot of things to do.. but end up never do anything XD, err maybe no.. wake up eevryday at 7am and go to sch.. and go home..in the evening.. sweep the floor.. fold the clothes.. abit here and there.. hmm.. X_X i think i did quite alot>? XD ( to me yes i think so )

Feeling very very hungry especially this period.. extraordinary hungry during evenings. And my mom will always be amazed at how HUGE my appetite has become. And she told me, " err.. X_X now then puberty>?" Sweat.. But i dont know X_X hope i wont grow taller.

Wee.. So nice.. to have people to rmb me ^_^ i will feel damn happie.. provided that they dont ask favour of me, or use me for something..><" 'cause normally i will get the wrong idea.. erm..that im being "used".

Nice oh.. Michelle =x the pretty girl ask me wanna go steamboat anot =x (drools at the thought of it) X_X STEAMBOAT!!! I want.. =x but i need to bank in some money over.. Wee.. by this week XD. I love to be "dated" by pretty girls. =X

2005-11-26T20:51:00.000+08:00

I dont know why I've become like this. It might be due to depression. *cant possibly be stress*.

I dont like to talk to the people i used to talk to already. Or rather, i give up.

So, what i do is.. err blocked them X_X. ---> PY and Yune ( dont like her nick.. see also bu shuang, sounds like gangster already XD, but seriously feel like deleting them also le sigh)

okie.. that's all for today. Err... no.. I WAS SO FED UP JUST NOW WHEN I FOUND OUT MY BROTHER DID IT AGAIN. RESET THE ROUTER SETTINGS. LIKE WHAT THE HELL?!?!
THE ONLY THING HE WILL DO TO REBOOT THE THING IS TO RESET ><" SO PISSED OFF.. NEARLY FORGOT TO CONFIGURE IT BACK. LUCKILY I REMEMBERED.. there wont be anyone who will help me.. i have to rely on myself. AND I BOUGHT THE ROUTER okie?!?!$$$200!!!!!!

okie.. that's all for the complains for today ^^ feel happier after letting it out. And.. yea.. mother was stunned when i cooked a big pot of noodles for my dinner. SO MUCH NOODLES. Hehehe... so hungry *still drooling*..And she was drinking potato soup, and staring at my food, with mouth ajar. hehehe.. nice one. Ate so much.. i always feel famished at night. Sounds like a vampire eh? Dont know what's happening in me X_X i feel like a monster sometimes, easily annoyed and sad..And when it's ironical when i wanna go on a diet, feel like eating less, my stomach will defy my brain's orders. Sigh.. Every part of me is always so contradicting..what to do?

Eileen is Stew-Pig

2005-11-24T20:48:00.000+08:00

Stew Pig ME..

Im incompetent in almost everything. Dont know how to do tutorials.. So tired..Dont know how to do so many things.. Just now papa was asking me if the ink catridges are compatible, maybe im just lazy, so i said dont know.. but.. Hp catridges couldnt be compatible with Epson what.. as for the laser printer.. is another brand.. also not compatible..Fax tape roll... I never use.. how i know..And again, "Wah.. everything also dont know.. So old already, still so.." I know the word, "stupid". =(

Today very very "lucky". Went to library instead of lecture, to watch movie X_X due to the hot weather, wanna laze around before going home. Was watching while drinking bubble tea.. and then someone approached us and asked us for our student card and issued a warning notice to us. Only drink ma..The shop is situated in the library..why cant we drink in the library?? X_X

So sian 1/2..wanna buy something in amk central.. saw pig again.. =x But i didnt wanna say hi each time. X_X So as usual, looked elsewhere and walked normally. Im very cold right? But dont know what to say each time.. might as well dont say anything XD. But well, XD im not interested in guys already.. Still finding my interest..but i have yet know what is it..

Next week might be catching harry potter with jes.. Quite broke ( as in cash on hand XD )actually.. But for the sake of friends ^^ i wont mind. Heard that the movie was nice wor.. I think my bro watched it with gf le.. but 2nd bro dont know got watch anot.. but i know he watched Emily Rose T_T dont know with who.. Haiz.. Im so .. Haiz.. Why never watch with me.. T_T Nvm, I will get used to it. Alone.

2005-11-21T08:30:00.000+08:00

Being quiet, doesnt mean one's intimidated.

Being silent, doesnt mean one's satisfied with everything.

Being nice, doesnt mean that people can take you for granted.

Dont judge everything by its surface. Just like the 10-year-old Edmund Hooper in the "Im the King of the Castle", people thought he was nice and simple minded, like a child, but they were all wrong. He has all the characteristics of a fox. As sly as a fox could be. No one understands him. Not even his own father, who was a womanizer.

From this story, we can tell that a quiet person can be the most dangerous person ever. A quiet person can do planning without letting others know what they're thinking. It doesnt mean when you're quiet, you can be trifled with. It's 100% wrong. Everything has its limits. When it has reach a level beyond what it could withstand, anything can happen.

So, DONT EVER try to mess around with quiet people. Okie?

People who think you are good. Always put yourself in the shoes of others. Do you think what you have done is good for that person? Are you trying to make use of the person? Do you think it's great to be used? Are you a sadist?

Wanted to write this, 'cause i was damn pissed off yesterday. It's only a trivial matter, but it meant everything. I really dont like people to be hypocrites or whatever, or to find me when you have problems. Anyone reading this, please pass the msg around, DONT find me when you have problems. Thanks.

why is it like this..

2005-11-20T15:50:00.000+08:00

i dont know why..it's coming back to me again.

Wanna shut myself off from everything. And be left alone. If only there's a cave or remote area that i could be left alone. No one can find me. Sometimes i feel like switching off my handphone, so no one can sms me or call me JUST ONLY WHEN THEY HAVE PROBLEMS OR FAVOURS TO ASK OF ME.

When i sms someone and ask something urgently..i will never get the reply. When people ask me for help, i will try my best and reply INSTANTLY.

I just feel like an idiot. Why should i be so nice when most people are only taking you for granted. And when you need someone for help, no one will help you.

Anyone reading this, dont try to ask any favour from me PLEASE.

EVERYONE just STAY away from ME.

I just want to be left alone and get used to it.

THE WORLD IS FAKE. EVERYONE IS FAKE. I dont want to put on a fake smile anymore. I want to be me, myself and I.

*Searching for a world of only my own...*

xmas is coming..

2005-11-19T12:49:00.000+08:00

Xmas is coming.. it's nv going to be the same anymore.. I remember..

Well..It's has been a year. Hmm.. feel like going on a shopping spree.. But no one is going to be there for me again.. Never..ever.. again.

Dont know why most of the time, i prefer to be left alone rather than to be in crowds. It has just become a habit of mine recently.. Dont be mistaken if I nv talk much.. Just that.. I dont know what's in me lately.

It's kinda.. weird. If you think in this way. Most of the times.. people who aren't close to you, pays more attention to you compared to those who are closer. For instance, when your birthday is approaching, your close friend dont give it a damn that it's your birthday, whilst the people who aren't close to you will remember it.. even for years. And also, people who you really wanna go out with so badly..NEVER have the time for you.. And people whom you dont want to go out with.. always ask you out.. But I think it's rather cruel to reject all outings eveytime X_X so Im always left with no choice. Err Im referring to my ex ex colleague. She's nice.. often treat me drinks or something.. But she's 30 years old X_X im 18 years old. You might be wondering how come she wanna go out with me. But err, I have no idea either. T_T HOW?

But sometimes i will feel kinda touched when she still REMEMBER me even i have not been working there for 2 years. Okie.. that's all. Pros and Cons for having a OLD friend.

All the same

2005-11-17T20:51:00.000+08:00

Kinda feel super doper tiring for the week, though i didnt do much lately, never touch tutorials or anything.. ARGH.. wake up at 7am almost every morning.. It's so tiring..

Perhaps it's time to think on the brighter side of life..It might be a bad thing to be ignored all the time? Since I'm so used to it..it has become my habit to keep quiet most of the time and sorry if anyone finds me boring in the game or anywhere X_X.

Today had another argument with the mother. She's so so so unreasonable. I'm still planning what to do.. Hmm..I can't let this go on for the rest of my life. I don't wanna be controlled. I need freedom. I want to use the money that I earned. I want to be independent. I wanna buy things that I want. I just want to be me.

Maybe one day.. I'm going to burn everything that is not favourable to my sight. I can be crazy, do things that people will be amazed at. Especially when I'm pissed off. Hopefully, by next year, I can get everything that I want. A totally new me. Can't find my interest at the moment. Sigh..

Monday Blues~

2005-11-14T18:53:00.000+08:00

It seems weird when people like my tutor and ex colleague friend that i made 2 years ago, were asking for my blog and asked for my blog address.. And some praised that my blog is nicely done. Thanks anyway XD.

My mood seems to be getting stable now. Ex colleague asked me to go out yesterday, again. I dont know why.. err she likes to ask me out, when it really gives me headaches dont know what to say to her. We aren't that close anyway, so that's part of the reason. And one more thing, she's older than me by 12 years old, and that makes her 30 years old. Yup.. Went to several places with me looking "blur" as she said, but im not really that blur actually. *_* Although i may always lose my sense of direction or.. cannot find the place.. i will rely on my intuition and i will reach the place somehow even though i'd never step into the place for even once in my life.

Was approached on the way back to mrt station, by a surveyor. We were /... when she asked whether we are currenly a student or working. And then asked if we are good friends? Err..hmm..well.. dont really know how to answer her. So ex colleague actually err.. feel quite paiseh and said, "yea..our ages differ alot.. sorry we're in a hurry"

I feel so bad if time she asked me, she will either treat me a drink or something. But there's nothing i can say to her. I will look.. kinda bored.. For people who know me.. im easily bored..and seldom open my mouth when im with people who arent close to me..

Our next meeting might be on xmas.. i dont know. Wish i could drag someone along there as well.. But that will be a "dream on.." No one will be free to accompany me for anything. Everyone that i know is always so busy.. And jes i can understand you are taking on many projects.. Dont really like school days.. I feel so bored.. No one I can share my thoughts with.. So lonely..

Today went to holland v with some classmates. Well.. haha was dragged to it =x. But it helps me to kill time.. oh well.. Went to dine at nydc for baked rice, and i ordered "romeo and juliet", that's so ... cheesy, and especially for the bacon.. that's far too much already.. which makes the whole thing spoil and too salty. Then we walked for awhile and headed to swensens for ice cream.. my order was banana split.. not bad.. at least the banana is not sour like some places..

Well.. mother's at it again. Forcing me to eat when Im already full aka. challenging my gastric. I remembered.. I was bedridden.. for a month last year near chinese new year.. And was forced to eat stuff that wasnt meant to be eaten when i was having a gastric flu. Im somehow amazed i still live up to this day..alive.

Last but not least, for gamers, if you are reading my blog, by accident/interest, it will be a miss if you do not visit the following webby:

http://www.ierogaming.tk/

It's Ragnarok Online. You doesnt need to pay to get to play. The server consists of interesting/fun people around, which makes your day. You get to play special events organised by the GMs, and for those first batch players, you get specials items which will be given by the GMs during after the events. To find out more, just visit the web! XD

Moody week

2005-11-12T12:15:00.000+08:00

Sigh..Rather pissed off/moody for the week.

Was pissed off a minutes ago.. and then was fine.. and then now pissed off again.. And the term for it is called, "Mood Swing". Yea? You have learnt a new definition from this lesson. Welcome XD

Why was I pissed off in the early morning?

I was awake for err so long X_X but didnt have the intention of getting up from the bed, and once i stepped out of the room i got @%!^# as usual again. Scoldings err.. for sleeping late, waking up late, and wasting electricity. (-_-") I find this the most hilarious/exaggerating/ridiculous/whatever-you-can-put-it reason for scolding ><". Err.. maybe no.. stayed tuned for the later part. And it was fine again. And then, i was err curious why she brought a chair to the toilet -_-" and i found out she was err how to call it, the "container" that could be found in every toilet. Yes it was occupied with so many things, on top of it. And she was asking me a favour, to help her bring down everything, yea i did. But when she ask favours from you, she will never ever appreciate for your help. Sometimes even when you are busy or perhaps you just gets blur X_X She will %^$# again. How "appreciative" she could be.. I dont really mind the part where she isnt in the least bit, appreciative at all for the help.. But when i was washing my hands, i got $%^& again? That was like.. "Huh?" "Trying to act hygienic is it?" ><" That was ... so ridiculous. So that means, people doesnt have to wash their hands when err handling something they find it dirty huh? *_* And then i was fine again. I was in the kitchen and she was trying to smell my hair. "Are you going to say it stinks?" "No!! I love the smell of your hair" (-_-") And she smell.. lol? ***** Some of the ridiculous happenings that occured for the week: Case 2: Was paying for tidbits at the cashier counter. And was queuing with another lady behind. And i placed the things im going to buy on the counter, and i didnt notice she placed it so NEAR mine err..and my friend was telling me, "hey.. the things placed too near already, i think you gonna tell the cashier that they aint yours" And yes, people who know me, should know im rather err.. rather retarded. And i was, "huh?" and i thought for a few seconds ><" [Just like when i was conducting a survey on the phone, and i was looking for the race, chinese, and i asked, "May I know your race?" And the reply was a NO. And i was thinking for err.. quite awhile, Is there ever a race in Singapore named NO. And i asked again, "Sorry.. may I know your race?" And i couldnt believe that i still dont get it *_* and i asked for the third time, the lady was kinda laughing and said no. X_X From a.. erm..hesitating tone to a laughing tone X_X.] And before i knew it, the cashier was scanning the lady's stuff already, and i managed to tell her on time X_X. Err think she's new there.. and was looking around helplessly for help with the expression :S , I told her it's alright and let the lady go first. Aww~ *grin* Jes i know im good XD so dont ever complain the job of a cashier when you see GOOD CUSTOMERS like me around XD. Case 3: Queuing for the noodle stall for our lunch yesterday. the vendors seem clumsy. And in addition, i find it annoying when a lady behind me, err sad to say, i guess it's a lecturer? I guess she doesnt know how to hold a lady's bag at all, it kept touching my butt ><" and knocking into me. Well.. and when karen's order was ready, she took her food?? She ordered laksa.. and took karen's food..Karen sue her! lol..Ridiculous..I find it a challenge to like a lecturer from our school, except for one special someone, it's Mrs Ang Siew Ping. She's the best teacher ever! So gentle.. kind.. sweet.. understanding.. almost all the good characteristics of a person you can find on her XD.

*****

Mom was blaming me for hanging out too much..But I didnt have a choice, i miss my friends =(. or rather, friend. Okie. Wont go out so often already since jes is going to be busy taking on so many projects, but ex colleague wanna ask me out again tomorrow *_* Wanna go out with me last week X_X but i said i wasnt free..'cause intended to go out with my best friends =( but only one went.

Steamboat.. LOL

2005-11-09T22:46:00.000+08:00

Today was actually a sian 1/2 day. Went to school.. still feeling moody.. After school.. went to get my notes.. sigh.. finally.. dont have to worry anymore.. Just like a load off my burden. Walking alone to the NP bustop which is just outside, i thought i heard something if i was not wrong? "Go away =X" Well, next time, no one will need to tell me to go away, i will make my move myself, doesnt have to sound so err.. mean. Im not in the least sad at all if my ears are working fine, but rather disappointed to know someone who is like that. Sad to say, I empathize with such people.

Went to Er Ren Shi Jie with jes..Went to have our "steamboat" XD at Suntec.. Yummy.. But the spice was killing me! I just dont understand how she can handle with the food so well...hmm..

Haha.. oh yea..

Joke for the day:

Jes: Hey Huimin, What's the time now?

Me: *Looks at the external LCD screen of the handphone* Oh.. it's $6.01

*****

See la.. im thinking of money all the time.. dont even know what im talking.

Sigh.. dont know when's the next time we can hang out again.. =( And not to forget our plan..Sigh again..If got next time.. APPLE STRUDEL WHOOHOO!!

Tmr aunt coming to my house to ask me about some basic com stuff as for her proposal as what she mentioned. =( Dont think it's even necessay for her to ask me if im free tmr.. T_T 'Cause im free everyday! XD Gonna be stucked at home for the rest of the semester..Like what jes have said, my friends are really limited. 4 friends in my life. ><" One good thing, save money.

2005-11-08T23:01:00.000+08:00

Someone complained I've been too lazy to blog. Okie i blog =x

Oh.. so.. err.. Do i have to repeat myself again? It's always been the same story.. over and over again. First they were fine with it, and then in the end, it would either be cancelled or the comment would be, "oh.. it's too expensive."

ArGh..Why has it always to be like this? Always make me happy for nothing.. Was thinking of having steamboat the next day.. And.. sigh.. tmr have to er ren shi jie with jes..=D the same old face! Whahaha!! *takes cover*

Nvm.. still got me =X dont be sad huh

A conversation with NoNo

2005-11-07T21:54:00.000+08:00

Lame joke for the day:

IMPORTANT NOTICE

2005-11-06T15:09:00.000+08:00

Voices from thy heart...

Clothes... Clothes...Clothes...

It can really bring a person down...

Scar...will always be a scar...

Once hurt...it will be remained for always...

It reminisces of things happened in the past...

Things that made you hurt...

Just by words...

That really saddens you the most...

When people.. that you thought...were your pals...

And yet...turned out...

To be a no...

Saddening enough... just to be alone...

Not to mention some...just couldnt be bothered about the feelings...

Let alone your pride...

People may laugh...

People may mock...

But they would never understand the pain of that once hurt wound...

For they never know how it feels like...

Who's the richest of them all..?

Do they even have the stand to say them all..?

A thousands lead a different living...

For there's the rich and the poor...

Why do the rich have to criticise the poor..?

For they dont know them at all...

*****

I wrote this for some deep reasons. Just hope that people would never judge a person by the looks, appearance, clothings, and whatsoever.

A decent person doesnt mean he/she dresses decently.

A bad person might not dress up as a baddie.

A rich person might not dress up as the best.

Hope readers will think about it, and read between the lines. Ngee Ann Poly students are quite smart i guess.

I do believe..

2005-11-06T14:18:00.001+08:00

This is what jes has found. Too true for me.

*****

Cancer: June 21 - July 22
Your most likeable trait: LOYALTY
No one has ever said Cancerians are easy to understand. You may appear gentle, kind, sympathetic, and a patient listener. Then someone asks for advice, and you turn cranky, snappish, and appear to be completely indifferent to anyone's problems but your own. You may wallow in self-pity and complain endlessly about how mistreated you are by the world. Turn another page of the calendar and suddenly you are back being helpful, solicitous, ready to do anything asked of you.
What's your secret? Cancer, which is ruled by the Moon and has water as its element, can be likened to the shifting tides of the oceans. Like the tides, Cancer is the sign of powerful forces moving under the surface. That surface, however, is quite difficult to penetrate, for Cancerians tend to build up an elaborate array of defenses to hide their deep feelings and extremely sensitive.
Complex, fragile, unpredictable, temperamental, the typical Cancerian needs a constant support and encouragement. You want desperately to be loved and approved of but resent needing approval so badly. When you get what you need, you give the best you have in return. Those who make you feel secure command your undying loyalty. When you really care for someone there is nothing anyone can say about that person that will make the least bit of difference. You have a real blind spot when it comes to seeing a failing in those you love.
You tend to be a worrier and a silent brooder. People may pour out their hearts to you, but the flow never goes in the other direction. You guard your secrets well.
If offended, you do not strike back directly. Your method of retaliation is to sulk, and it is often very effective. The technique is somewhat like being whipped to death by a dozen strands of boiled spaghetti.
Cancer's symbol, the crab, has a hard outer shell that protects soft, vulnerable flesh underneath. The same is true of Cancerians, who are often crusty, gruff and grumpy, but possess a proverbial heart of gold. Beneath your tough exterior you are a sentimental softie who will make any sacrifice for someone in need. If someone asks for a favor, your first reaction will probably be no, but the final answer is always yes. You should be judged not by what you say but by what you do.
You are possessive. Anyone who becomes part of your life will never again be entirely free. You try to stay in touch with friends, ex-lovers, former spouses, business associates, persons you knew as children. If you let anyone go out of your life, it is unwillingly and never completely. This reflects your preoccupation with the past. An aura of nostalgia dwells about you; the events and people of bygone years continue to inhabit your memory and usually grow dearer to you as time goes by. You are devoted to family and home and continue to believe in the old fashioned idea that marriage is forever—even if the events in your own life contradict this.
It is hard to deceive you, for you can spot the tiniest nuances of behavior. In fact, you are almost psychic in your intuitions. A photographic memory added to intense powers of observation makes you extremely canny about divining other people's inner motivations.
Cancerians are crab-like in their indirect approach to an intended target. Observe a crab moving on a beach and you will notice its strange sidewise movement toward a goal. People born under the sign of the Crab never take the direct approach. You step to one side, then step to the other side and sometimes go completely around. But you get where you intend to go.
If channeled in the right direction, your enormous sensitivity can be a greta source of strength. Once you overcome your shyness and touchiness and master your turbulent emotions, your intellect and imagination enable you to become a success in almost anything you undertake. Contrary to the impression you often give, you can be shrewd and canny in business. Cautious, conservative in your approach, you possess an antenna that quickly gauges public taste and opinion and senses new trends in the making. This instinct for business combined with imagination is visible in such famous fashion designers as Bill Blass, Oscar de la Renta and Pierre Cardin.
Cancer people hold on to money as tenaciously as they do to everything else that belongs to them. To you money spells security, yet no matter how much wealth you accumulate you never feel really secure. That is true of your emotional security also. A Cancerian never gets enough love and approval, you always need more. it is very easy to fall in love with this loyal, devoted, affectionate, and protective Moon-child.

Always at a thought.

2005-11-06T11:33:00.000+08:00

Hadnt stopped thinking for money for days already. Notes.. Textbooks..Bills..All to be on my own? It's like being half independent while people claiming that they are providing you a living.

Laptop to be bought on my own, they will tell ppl, "Hey.. this one ar.. not bad ar..I bought it."

And i dont really get allowance during the holidays. Err.. $6 for both lunch and dinner (workplace: convention centre), if anyone knows how to survive in Singapore with this sum, please add me at msn: pohuimin@hotmail.com , not to mention eating the same food everyday ><" $6..Hadnt been enough for me. I was scolded for spending too much. It wasnt fault on my part though.. I have a mouth and a stomach, that's why i need to eat.. And also to blame the vendors why sell so exp? Not to forget the ones who collect the rental fees as well. School reopen.. sigh..Notes.. NOTES? Im trying to .. err.. act a bit ><" pathetic. "Err.. so im supposed to buy the notes.. err.. textbooks.. err.. with my card?" "Ok..permit granted." T_T omg.. i didnt wanna hear that. I wanan buy so so so so so so many things..If only there's really santa claus who exist in this world, I bet you have gotta carry a big red bag to my house for my wish list(s). Aww.. i need a santa =( How am i going to survive..Maybe i will be saving... whilst killing two birds with a stone, maybe dont eat so much as to slim down. I dont know if i should eliminate the thought of buying a car in future. X_X But jes.. you.....said you die die want sit in my car XD. Maybe i will buy a toy car, XD and we sit inside. I've found out I've changed alot for the worst lately. I dont know if this is for only temporary. It might be due to the stress/problems Im still facing everyday. If only there's a braining washing system just like what Norton Anti Virus will do..eliminate/quarantine those viruses. Be rest assured i will be back to normal 100%. Imagine ok.. 5 school days in a week. 1 day = $6 5 days = $30 4 weeks (one mth)= $120 + concession $52 =$172 *note : this month concession on my own. $52 : Used $38 on black tees for the job, and $10 for mrt fares And yes.. Mrt Fares..Been topping up for argh so much. Not to mention again, yes on my own. one day $3..topped up err.. like once in less than a week. And she's..saying, "WAH SO MUCH? HEY i give you money hor *thinking of the $52*, got hor!" ><" Oh well...."THAT'S ALOT" ++ inverted commas. **** What im emphasizing here is.. err.. not that i wanna take more money from her..Understandable that err.. ><" we arent that rich. BUT THE THING is, she's not happy whenever i buy something? And claims she's claiming she's giving me alot but i always have to chip using my own savings ><" Hard to save.. ARGH..

And for the past week im not happy with her for her illogical reasons for not giving me MY CARD. Astrocious right? Muahahaha.. there's no way im going to "return" or rather to give her. So im keeping it for good. XD I have 2 accounts.. give you one, then i keep one, fair enough? Those were my earnings anyway.

maybe i was wrong.

2005-11-05T23:26:00.000+08:00

Haha jes, i know you also will be very happy de. =D Maybe wo cuo guai le ta..But well, in the end everything turns out well har.. =x

Went to KFC and see yy eating, then to Paya Lebah to see jes eat desert then go shopping XD.

Bought le got the man zhu gan~ haha..And was loitering in the shop for so long XD all because of my indecisiveness.

Today was tiring, but it's worth it =D. Looking forward to the next outing...

*****

Apologies:
Next time treat you all eat desert ar XD.

how can i ever end this??

2005-11-04T23:18:00.000+08:00

Im tired. Really really tired. I dont know why she's still like this? Dont blame me please, it's not what i want, it's her. I dont even know what the hell i have done and what i can do to appease her. As if it's my problem, ever at all? Or she wanna see cutting my wrist with a blade, or jumping off a building before her eyes? We are 18! I dont see any point being like that with those "trivial" matter, ><" whilst i dont even know what is the "trivial" matter is all about. Im dead beat..

Thought it was supposed to be a happy day.. And yet, im feeling so sad now. Why must it be like this everytime we plan to go out? Cant it just be a easy one? It's always the same old answers. I hate it.. I really dread it..And siu juan(ex ex colleague) ask out but i said no after asking jes if she wants her to go as well, well, a no. Understandable. I always try to make myself free even though im busy or tired or whatever.. why??

I know im a really bad person who rots to the core. But im trying my best to be good already. When will this ever end? I dont know. The problem doesnt lie with me anymore.

The world has hope

2005-11-02T17:39:00.000+08:00

All things bright and beautiful..All creatures great and small..

Wo Xiang Kai Le~ Maybe im just over-sensitive ba. Realised people arent totally that bad..Humans are kind in nature too.. Perhaps.. when they said those words.. they did not wonder how hurtful it was..Maybe.. they didnt mean it in the first place..Well.. forgive and forget...Wee!~

Getting fat le wor. Need to slim down X_X really soon. Or else.. next time will find it hard to buy clothes wor. Feels like enjoying myself to the full.. but school has already started.. is it too late to enjoy myself now? Wanna play abit more wor..feels so bored at home everytime i head home. Sian-ing everyday~ Dont know what is my interest now.. haiz

Phone repaired le. So i no need to use earpiece to answer call le. So troublesome.. Now just flip my phone and "HELLO???" XD can le. Sian-ing now X_X So i guess im using improper english.

Sms jama and apologized that yesterday i pang sei her.. really got a bit of headache yesterday.. 'cause totally no mood le.. Im a very impatient person, when i ask people qns i must get a reply really soon X_X. Else.. i will be pissed off..Replied like one hour++ later, that's why i have no mood de, then went to play organ.. came back and saw the reply.. haiz. X_X i wonder if she purposely/nv receive my msg. I dont think singtel's reception is that lousy right..?

Didnt know yy went out with them yesterday.. i thought it was only two of them.. X_X Now i get to see the picture already. When there's no me, she will be there. When Im there, she will nv be there. Jes, you said Ive always been a talker and not a listener, but..that's me alright.. We have known each other like err.. for 6 yrs? And now.. it couldnt be.. just because of this? And.. i have my reasons for talking *too much*. Well, as you see, I hardly tells people my personal problems. And, I can hardly find anyone who can share my problems. It's you girls. Who can be the ones.. X_X Well well..Next time i will try to speak less often then. Or even.. will there be a next time?

You said that.. she was angry 'cause she thought i was boasting in the past.. But now..Im all alone. There's nothing i can boast even at all. And why should she be angry of things from the past? I thought i was being too sensitive..or like what you have said, in the wrong way.

Im trying my best already. I dont know what i do can actually appease her. X_X What can i do?? Can someone help me out..

dont know why..

2005-11-01T14:47:00.000+08:00

I suspect im suffering from depression. Saw the advertisement for it yesterday, I have all the sights.. I tend to get agitated very easily.. always not happy with anything..feels sad easily..have migraine also..(headaches everyday)... the more i think.. the more excruciating pain it is..

I dont know. Was already feeling tired after walking for yesterday. Jama was asking today if wanna go out, but i said, i need to fix phone first.. arrange with the rest then sms me what time and meet where. Jes online le.. say hi to me and asked me why still at home ><" then offline le.. then i cant call her, or sms her, coz phone was not with me..house de phone mama using..msn she offline haiz. Saw peiyi online with the nick, "playing 02jam", but i ask her why nv go out, no reply de.. feels so ARGH. So i put "busy" le. PIF..No reason to be angry, but im angry, dont know why. I dont want to go out le, Mama ask me go and pray i also dont want le, i have no mood le.. Haiz haiz haiz.

Aiks..

2005-11-01T12:59:00.000+08:00

Yesterday went gai gai with jes wor..X_X But also havent get my stuff.. This time whatever i buy, must get the best wor =x. Dont wanna keep changing, so find one durable de. So dont blame me har.. X_X I said shopping only ma.

Went back to popular..Christine still there wor. Also saw huimin aka. jennifer. Im huimin aka. eileen. Haha.. incase people who knows too many huiminssss.. just call me eileen X_X I've been using this name since i was a baby more than the name "huimin".

I wanna play a prank on the aunties leh.. only saw sai ju..But can see her smile im also very glad ^^. Haha.. forgot my name.. 'cause she always call me "Ah gal". Haha.. So cute de auntie.. aww~ Not a good job.. but really nice aunties there.. so nice ^^. Siu Juan off wor..but at night also got sms me X_X but i always forgot to check hp de, always reply late..Got this bad habit.. after something happened. Tian Zhi Di Zhi, Ni Zhi Wo Zhi. X_X Habit in the past was staring at the phone waiting for msg. Now.. feel that no one will msg me.. so i just "abandon" my phone in the drawer le. Aww~ Theme for my phone will be, "Lonely..Im Mr Lonely..~" Craps.. whahaha

So went up to her and asked, "Erm, excuse me.. where do i find pencils?" Haha.. she looked up at smiled le, aww~ so nice.. still remember me ar everyone *grin*. Jes.. you wore so nice..wore so chio~ whaha.. why scare here and there de..*grin* still need me to help you say hi muahahha. kidding. Too bad hor.. your sian hui auntie.. I thought she will still be there.. well.. Since you said you have her contact, then you can call her if you want ba =X.

Eh.. not fun de, went to CD Rama, then christine so.. err...said so loud, "Sorry ar, Im busy, no time to entertain you all. " ><" Just wanna say goodbye de leh ahah..but nv say le wor.. X_X Actually help my kor last time jio zheng qi de, he wanna treat her drinks at coffee bean..then zhengqi dont want.. but christine want.. X_X get what i mean?? Then he was err.. "Haiyo.. your fren christine la.. spoilt my chance."

Lol..help him to jio her, is just for fun. 'Cause i dont want him to be together with her X_X. She's not really the type of girl i would want if im a guy. X_X

Jama.. fasting havent end ba? Still ask us to go out wor.. Miss us huh.. hees..Zheng you xin..Still think of us..Said she had finished one paper yesterday for A lv wor..Hmm see how ba.. X_X im so bored now.. waiting for my phone's "surgery" to be done. Next time i wont abandon you le ba.. phone.. dont treat me like that T_T. Please recover fully after the operation.

I just dont understand WHY?

2005-10-30T23:09:00.000+08:00

Had a big cry just then. Now blogging with "goldfish eyes". Today feeling real sad.. planned to go bank tmr and stuff already, friend pressing me for the timing but im really gonna be busy tmr so i dont know what will be the time i'll be meeting them? So i just told one of them.. If you're meeting your bf.. then meet him ba, it's ok with me =). Haiz..Then dont know what.. was talking to the mom, she told me not to buy concession first, 'cause i used the $52 for bus stamp on black shirts $38, and $10 for topping-up busfare, so i was telling her, $2 left. She said, "so tmr take out the $52 from your bank and buy " "okie.." Oh yea.. today you gave me allowance already. Then i told my brother, " You know dine at suntec so exp.. $6.. i must chip in more money on my own everyday." "Aiya.. suntec for sure de ma.. at least need dont know how much le" "ya lor..$6...cant reallt survive le.. now like no money like that.." She entered the room, and asked, "what did you say just now? Isnt $6 enough for you to eat? You think you're going to get all the good food? You think what.." "It's not that Im saying $6 is little.. but a decent meal there need at least..$3.50 So err can i have my atm card tmr plz?" "NO. im not going to give it to you. I will keep it." "what??" /...

She went away and i broke down and cried.. All my efforts has gone down the drain..The days i spent working..could be used for a break.. but i chose to work just for the sake of money. And now.. i cant even touch it..

My bro overheard and said, " do you think $6 is enough for a normal person to survive? You are not her.. you wont understand.. It's really tough.." "So you think she can get the card and you get to borrow alot of money from her again eh?" "Do you know what you are saying? May i know your age plz? You sounds like a 5 yr old kid."

Sighs. tmr.. will i be sad again? I dont feel like going to school.. or work in future again.. I really have no interest in games.. nothing in particular anymore..Life's meaningless.. It did came across my mind before, if i wanna end my life to put a stop to all this torment..Maybe one day i will.. i dont know.

Tired..

2005-10-29T22:30:00.000+08:00

Tomorrow is going to be my last day le..

So aww~ Come back on laptop le.. the wmp de randoms songs.. all is love de.. so aww~ Feel like Zzz.. de feeling also aha..But saw kor's nick, "Hen Tong..The wound bleeds.."

Hmm..Think it's gonna to take some while again for it to be healed ba..The wound will not be healed totally.. but at least, it will not feel that bad ba?

On my way home, standing on the train before me was a very very naughty kid.. I wonder why parents.. will just sit back and do nothing when their kids are misbehaving. I cant imagine..why the mother took the seat for herself, and not for her kids? She's so self-centred..Their father also.. never say anything de..X_X And i was leaning on the glass.. then suddenly heard the boy say to his sis, "Hey i learnt a word,DEENM"

sis: "huh?? Is there such a word?I dont think so.."

naughty boy: "There! *points at me* She says de " (>.<""") BIG SWEAT

sis: "oh.. wrong la.." then dont know what she spelt.. *scratches my head* My shirt dont have such words..eh??

Im a super sensitive person who cant stand negative remarks about me, strangers to talk about me, or strangers to stare at me (-_-") Though you may see me laughing after "some people" who commented nasty remarks..about me..infront of me, to me to be exact..Im taking it very seriously okie..? Anyone who talks to me, please think twice of what you are going to say..lol..

Oh well.. yesterday on the train to work and to home, for both trips.. there's always a person who stare at me. First, it was like this..on the train to work..Was about to alight at City Hall.. then I turned to face the direction of the doors that would be opened. Then.. this guy @_@ dont know why looking at me as if im some martians or i owe him money like that. On my way back home.. on the train.. same thing. But more annoying. This lady who was standing just infront of the person who is standing before me, 'cause her view of me was blocked right?? Then she stretched her way all up to see me (>.<") i dont think im thinking too much.. I wasnt looking at her.. but then suddenly isaw a head like that.. (-_-") So I was wondering what's happening.. And she was looking at me. yes. (>.<") As if im some animals from the zoo, again. So was feeling real uncomfortable.. so i went to take another position on the train, having my back facing her. And when i shifted position again, there she was.. facing me again..><" Looking at me.* Big sweat* So i was thinking.. is this a lunatic or what... so was having alot of thoughts on my mind. "Erm.. shift to another bunk???" Get really annoyed with those people on the train.. no choice.. so crowded. but still have to go work right..haiz..There was once, a guy just lean on the pole i was holding on to, i was feel so damn disgusted.. by his position and everything.. and once to school.. this guy.. the hand ><" MY hand was below there.. then the distance of his and my hands are about erm.. 10inches apart.. then imagine he slide all the way down and can ahem going to touch my hand ><" i quick let go and grab another place.. SAME THING HAPPENED AGAIN.. Same guy, Same Hand (-_-") Same movements.. on a different pole.. ARGH

I wish i could drive a car.. or to be chauffeured around.. dont like taking crowded trains and buses. I just dont like the annoying feeling.

Today I broke world's record..Dine at Suntec for only $5 for both lunch and dinner (-_-")

Allowance for yesterday and today: $12

Yesterday spent..around $7. X_X Forgot the exact amount.. Just know that what i take is always not enough for what i eat.. sighs..So today.. budget abit.. plan at 10am what to eat for lunch already..Nah..im not going to eat the same thing again. Tomorrow will be last working day aka. last holiday..eat what i wanna eat ba..

----

Some things to stress.. i dont like people who are more loaded to look down on those who are not as rich. I hate such people. OR as my ex-colleague, jianming termed it, "materialistic people".
So what if you are more loaded? Do you actually got it by your own efforts? Do you think you are qualified to depise people?

Im not a rich girl. but i dont go around begging people for money.. Sometimes..people wanna give me a treat i will just joke around "okie!", or for those decent ones.. i will just.. say.."it's ok.. i can cope with it =)" I dont depend on any other people even for my online games, for instance,RO. Dont know how many people has offered to give me zeny in the past.. but i rejected them all. One thing is very important to me. That is.. pride. What i wear what i eat what i use, is not by stealing, robbing efforts. Everything i have got, is by orthodox means. I wrote this chunk of words for some reasons.. It's because what some people said in the past, has caused a deep wound in me. I wont mention the names.. but those who said it, will know it.

Okie dookie.. hope tomorrow ends well.. and gonna pass timesheet to xiuling and maybe the cupboard key to richard to help us pass to Calis.. When sch starts on maybe 2nd week then i get anime from jianming ba X_X so bored.. when school starts.. nothing i can do...

Oh ya.. Monday.. maybe i going to town.. also need to do some stuff in the bank before that.. Monday..Hope it will turn out well ba =)

What a...

2005-10-28T23:21:00.000+08:00

As usual, i was bored and started sending sms this morning. Sent a "Enjoy your last day! And jiayou~" to my two ex-colleagues.. the company i left a few days ago.. And samantha replied,"We left yesterday already. Worked for an hour. Too efficient. Finished sorting real fast...." Oh well.. i guess it's a blessing in disguise to me and jianming ba.

Today VIPS/Big shots came today for the roadshow. Imode arranged people from restaurants to come and set up nice tables and buffet.. Erm.. smells nice the whole day.. Argh~ SPH ppl nv get to eats it.. haha i mean.. me and xiuling =X The ones and only..So we get to see a couple of celebrities.. erm.. tay bing hui.. zheng xiu zheng..zhou chong qing.. and two more sportsmen?

Miss shendia and michelle for their entertainment.. The day seems really long..and worse without their presence..*sighs* Although i've known them for just.. 3 days.. but they are really fun-loving people..so sad..

So at night supposed to get my dinner again, was looking around erm.. around the fountain of wealth, and i saw a familiar face.. Aha! That's Huiru!! Lol.. Johnny's fave. Kinda amazed that she said that her pay was lesser than mine.. hmm.. so.. i guess my job is the slackest job ever. So we chatted for a while.. And yup!! Haha.. can fully utilise my break that is.. an hour.. to chat with her..Hmph.. but she's not working tomorrow.. guess i will see her around on sunday.

Erm.. 2 more days.. And monday i need to do many things already i supposed? Hmm. hopes..i have a nice weekend and meet more nice people around before school starts.

Only Heaven Knows

2005-10-27T22:10:00.000+08:00

Today i spoilt it all again in the morning. Was about to go off for work, then told my mom, gonna get new jeans by next week. X_X To save me from all the naggings.. xian ku hou tian.. should be better ba? There she goes again..And i have to rake up the past.. bla bla.. and then feel sad again. That was in the early morning.

In the morning i reached the Roadshow booth before xiuling. Hmm.. And then learnt that those people that i normally talks to.. will be parting us..and that their last day will be today. So sudden..Because their head found that there're too many people already.. Those invited guests.. are few. So.. That lady actually told them,"Well.. anyone who's not happy with the job, may leave." Kinda of indirect "sacking". And then.. my "starhub frens" that i befriended with, couldnt take it anymore.. with their so-called "pride"..So they have already set their mind, ready to go.

Well.. nothing much to write already.. Just feeling tired.. and feel that I have a wonderful day because im not offended by anyone at all~.

Oh oh..Monday's coming soon.. It's Hell Day!~ I hate to go to school..'cause.. of some reasons.. X_X People who knows me well.. will know it. All in all, I dont enjoy going to school anymore.